Since the day I connected with him, I could feel something isn't right. But I wanted to know him, get close to him, even though we weren't aligned. I went with it and started to trust him with secrets, I have never disclosed to anyone. I expected the same or at least that he wouldn't lie to me.
He lied about his past initially, which I got to know only because his words didn't match, as to what he told me previously. I felt disrespected because it was something that I was completely honest about but he wasn't.
Before this happened, he pointed out things that I'm insecure about like skin colour, acne, body image etc. For me, it is so basic not to mention anything the person can't fix in a few seconds, but he didn't care how I would feel about it.
Also, on our initial date, he kissed me without even confessing how he feels about me, I still went with it, thinking he would say it very soon. But it didn't happen. I was very confused, as to what was happening. If the guy is interested, why is he not being vocal or saying things directly? Sending memes, or texting good morning/gn texts isn't enough, I need to hear the words.
We met again, and things remained the same, but this time he went one step further, which put me off and I went home.
I felt so bad for what had happened. I called him in the evening to talk about it, he said he had a similar feeling. He went with it because, in his past relationships, everyone would move fast, so he had the same image of me. I felt very disposable because I am very different to other people and I know I don't deserve to be treated this way.
i don't know why I liked him or wanted to be with him, he apologised and we again continued to date. But with no labels, because I wasn't sure if he was a good person and wanted to take some time.
I didn't feel it right to judge him from his behaviour, it could be the way he was brought up or things he has seen that made him this way.
Things went wobbly again, I didn't have a sense of trust or safety. I was so anxious the whole time, ' is he still comparing me to his past exes, what part of me doesn't like '.
