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Forming connections with others

Jacobi1911
Community Member
Good evening,
Recently i have been longing to form a close relationship with someone
But have been unable to feel a connection. While others say i havent given
Enough time i think its something else.
I feel as if i dont have a close connection with anyone or anything even though
I crave it. I feel this is a subconscious thing my mind has decided to do
As a defence mechanism from being scamed out of half of what y oiu own which
Has happened to some of the people around me.
I need to break this i desparately want to feel a connection to someone based of
somthing other than physical attraction.

The point of this post is to ask for help, im not sure where to go to, or who to
contact about this issue.
8 Replies 8

Guest_4643
Community Member

Hi Jacobi1911, welcome.

I just wanted to say I know how you feel. I wish I had people close to me. I just have my parents, I don't have anyone else. Yes I'm thankful for them but I wish I had friends. I have nobody. I never have. Sometimes I wish I had a partner also, sometimes I don't. I like my time to myself sometimes but it gets lonely.

Sorry if that was irrelevant, just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I hope you find someone soon.

Thank you mb20lover

I appreciate you sharing your veiw but i thinky my situation is slightly different to yours, not to devalue your experiences at all i might add i apprecuate you putting your own expereince out in a ln attempt to help!!

I have a very big friend group and a very solid support structure around me, but i dont feel anything, i only do things for my friends because i know that makes them like me not because i have any sense of passion or love for our friendship.

I dont make emotional connections with people full stop even within my family my mother is a lovely lively lady and i appreciate her to bits, but i dont think i feel about her any different than any of my female friends, like does love feel like anythibg different to that i dont know

Wanted to tell you you're not alone with the loneliness, that's all. Sorry. My bad..

Juliet_84
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Jacobi1919,

Your post struck a chord with me as that is how I feel almost all the time, alone. I have friends (not that many granted), many acquaintances, a partner, family etc but I struggle to feel that close connection with people. Even with my extended family and my friends I don’t feel it. I am fairly outgoing and do a lot of activities now where I meet people and I do on the rare occasion meet people that I have a strong bond with, but it’s so rare that it comes along really infrequently (like twice in 5 years) and then because it’s so rare something inevitably happens like they move away or I move or change jobs etc and I’m back to square one. Everything just feels so superficial and I crave depth, even someone to come over and have drinks in our pjs and watch tv rather than going out to breakfast where we have stilted and polite conversation about “how have you been” “how’s work” etc. I figure the only way to create that is to be the person to other people that I want for myself, invite them out for drinks, and try and break down those barriers. Nothing ventured nothing gained I suppose

My apollogises mate i didnt mean it to come off as offensive or tossing your comment aside, i really appreciate your input and the fact you reached out thank you

Thank you someone understands it

I have spoken through this with heaps of freinds and they just say i havent met the right one yet but that is not the only thing, i dont love my sisters or my farther or mother, sure i appreicate them and all they do for me and i wish to make them proud and happy as thanks for what they have done for me but i dont feel any emotions byond that to them.

I dont think ive ever met somone who if they disapeared from my life id have a catastrophe, as you say everything feels superficial but i dont hold anything back, i do socially expected things as all people shoukd like being polite and curdious to other but i dont refrain from.being weird or not normal when im out in public, i dont try press myself into somthing because i know i cant.

So does that mean i have the incapacity to feel love? Its kike somthing you want to desparately to feel but you just cant for a n yone or anything

That's ok Jacobi1911

Hi Jacobi1911

i completely relate to this, I have a few friends but don’t feel a connection with anyone and every time I try to talk to someone they ghost me because I have ‘too many problems’. I guess I am just super lonely and longing for a deep connection with someone. I am here if you want to talk