Feeling unloved

[People_Pleaser]

I’ve been with my partner a little over two years, before him I was in a DV relationship for 19 years.

Promised myself I would never be with anyone intill I healed and put me first…. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, when I meet my partner, I thought I finally met the man that understands me, my match. I explained what I had been through in my previous relationship, and wanted to take things very slowly, he was understanding and chilled with it all. Long story short, within two months he moved in with me cause the house he was in was getting sold, and he had nowhere to go. My children loved him, they all got on, it was pure bliss. Boy did everything chance after moving in, the first few months were perfect, but then he changed, there were no “good morning beautiful” or “I miss you” messages during the day, phone calls got less and less to the point where he ignores my calls now, doesn’t acknowledge my children, hides in the bedroom most of the time, I’ve tried to talk to him and resolve there’s situations, but it’s like I’m speaking a different language, he gets all overwhelmed and offensive then guilt trips me to the point where I’m apologising and feeling like a horrible person for even bringing it up, even though I said that communication is my number one thing and is very important to me as I didn’t have any of that in my last relationship, he also said it was important to him too, it broke my heart when I realised that this man was only out to use me and find somewhere to stay, he never loved me, he shows it more each day, when I come and sit next to him and chill he’ll get up and say some excuse but I’d find him sitting somewhere else not doing what he said he was gunna do… I know he’s no good for me, but I can’t seem to get him out of my life.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear People_Pleaser,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums….

I am so sorry that you’re going through that….I can relate to your story and am very saddened to hear that you’re being treated that way….

I survived 38 years in a DV marriage, he has passed away now just over 10 years and I am still not healed from all the abuse I went through….at first he was very loving and caring, but the night of our marriage he tore up our marriage certificate and he changed overnight….some people will manipulate others into getting or doing things that they want for themselves by putting on an act of kindness and care, then once they get it…they revert back to their true self….Once he gets really comfortable with you, try’s out how far he can go….things might get worse…ask yourself sweet lady…is he going to get worse or even abusive towards you….or your beautiful children…

I think in your heart sweetheart, you know what you need to do, you need to protect your children and yourself…..I stayed with my husband through fear of him, the unknown, the future as well as there was not much help for DV victims in my time….I put my children in danger, they had a horrible life growing up….they witnessed many things growing up…things that no child should see or hear…..I have huge regret and guilt still today for that….

You deserve love, respect and care….from your partner……not what’s happening to you now with you’re partner….if he can’t give you that, then he doesn’t deserve to be with you at all…

Please, look after yourself, stay safe and try hard to do what you feel you need to do, deep inside you…you come first, your mental and physical health is the most important thing..

Thinking of you with kind and caring thoughts..

Grandy..