Feeling lost

[Hellokitty01]

I’ve been in a long term relationship with someone who has been abusive verbally towards me, cheated on me, and made me out to be the reason for. I believe I’m a good person and have tried to my best ability to be there for him. I honestly feel so lonely and feel like I’ve lost myself and who I used to be. I feel like he doesn’t understand me. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? Do I frustrate him so much that this is how he treats me? It doesn’t matter how I express how I feel he never seems to understand where I’m coming from.

If anyone has been in a similar situation and can shed some light for me that would be greatly appreciated.

thank you x

[Vitsyra]

I haven't been through your situation, but just wanted to say I'm so sorry you've gone through this and I hope things are better for you.

You have to make your own decisions, but I would leave this person, they don't sound like they are very good for you.

And lastly, it is NOT YOUR FAULT!! No matter what you've done, no one has the right to treat you poorly and the ONLY one responsible for cheating is the cheater!! Don't let him blame you to try and make himself feel less guilty. You have done nothing wrong.

[Birdy77]

Hello HelloKitty,

Vitsyra is right, you are not responsible for him cheating on you, nor for his abuse of you. He is responsible for these actions, and you deserve to be treated with respect and care.

I understand your feeling of having lost yourself. In my experience that is what happens when we give and give and give to someone who only takes. It can end up feeling like you've given all of yourself into this black hole and feel like you can't get yourself back. But you can.

This person sounds toxic, and the relationship sounds like it is definitely damaging you.

It is not your fault he is treating you badly. Please hear this!

What would you like to see happen here?

Take very good care of yourself.

Warm, caring thoughts 🌻 birdy