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Feeling like a door mat.

Community Member

Over the past few years My Partner has done some pretty hurtful things that I just can't seem to move past.

I've previously been in a very DV/controlling relationship and I worry that this impacts on how I react to things, becoming a 'doormat so to speak.

A few years ago my Partner proposed on my Birthday and within minutes then turned around and said it was a joke, do you think I'd really get you a basic ring like that, do you think Id not make it a bigger deal etc basically tried to Turn the Proposal into a prank.

He then broke down appologising saying his anxiety got to him and he didnt know what to do so he made up the whole Joke thing to try relieve his anxiety.

I was heartbroken, distraught and angry. And to this day I remember the 'Proposal' as this horrible event and every birthday I remember it too. I feel like that once In a lifetime moment was ruined by him. A moment that I'll never get back.

I don't know how to move on, or If I should move on? Is it forgivable? Or will it just always hurt. 😔😔😭😭

1 Reply 1

Community Member

Hi Mermaid@heart,

I can understand the hurt you feel about the proposal. Every lady looks at this moment as a fairytale moment and than that happy yes comment to a happy marriage life ever. To make it a joke or to sudden change of heart can make you feel unworthy or not beening taken serious.

This you mention has been a few years ago. I hope that a serious marriage proposal is on it way if you so wish for. I hope that he surprises you and makes up for the sad one he made before.

Well done to you for getting out of that previous DV controlling relationship. You are strong and brave. You are not over reacting. You been thru a stressful situation and you hunger for peace in your life and happiness is warranted.

Hope you boyfriend overcomes his insecurity and fear of commitment. He may have some of his own issue to deal with. Hope a good communication talk can break the barriers for you both to help you both look after each other needs.

Take care and so hope you get that happiness and peace you are after.