Feeling helpless, upset, depressed
Hi there P (think I’d rather refer to you as P instead of poohy; hope that’s ok)
Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing your post.
Difficult situation that you’ve described – you say a recovering alcoholic and that you’ve been together for 5 yrs – has he been off the grog for the entire 5 years or is it a more recent thing? Just ask that, cause if it is a recent thing, then this could be a reason why he’s having troubles?
Also for him to firstly be verbally nasty to you and then to up and leave and give no news on where or how he is – for me, that would be creating a huge divide in any relationship I was in; so yes, you must be incredibly in love with him to be “ok” with him doing that.
You’ve asked a key question: “Is he ever going to change?” And just before that you mentioned the words of “happy marriage” and “kids” AND “you’ve been together for 5 years and in that time the relationship has gone nowhere”. Just my 5 cents worth: ‘kids’ could be definitely an option; ‘happy marriage’ may be an option for a short while; but the key pointer here is that your relationship has gone nowhere in the whole time you’ve been together. I’m sorry if I’ve stepped over the mark here and sounded too negative, but just wanted to air my thoughts to you on this.