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Fear of abandonment

Community Member

Hey everyone

I have been told by a psychologist I have traits of BPD. It does make sense as I have been unable to have a stable romantic relationship since I broke up with my boyfriend 6 years ago. I had one relationship since I broke up with him but it was a disaster.

I have dated since my last relationship ended however my fear of rejection and abandonment takes over and I believe I sabotage any potential relationship. Does anywhere else out there do this to prevent themselves from experiencing further heartbreak? I truly hope I am not the only person who does this.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated 🙂

3 Replies 3

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi there

You're absolutely not alone in this. Hard isn't it? I imagine if you search the term "abandonment" in the search box at the top of the page, you'll be able to find other posts about this. Maybe you'll feel less alone, maybe you'll find some helpful advice there. Is your work with your psychologist ongoing? I'm sure they could assist you with some strategies in this regard. I've not talked to mine about this particular issue as I have so much other stuff going on I need to work on too.

I wish you the best in working through it. You deserve to be in a healthy loving relationship. Katy


Thank you for your reply and support. My psychologist reduced the amount of clients she was seeing so my sessions stopped. I felt it was time to see someone new anyway and I want to see someone who specialises in BPD.

I wish you all the best too

Community Member

Hello, I also have experienced fear of rejection and abandonedment issues. It definitely can hinder proper realationships. I have been thinking a lot about this lately and know it stems from childhood. Do you believe that for you it has as well?

Fear of rejection is tricky.. You want to be loved, but at the same time don't want to connect because rejection can be painful.

Got no advice for you. As I am working through this myself. Except I am actually married, but a lot of the time, I cannot feel free to be me. Because what if me, who ever she is is rejected. Think we need to fill that hole in our hearts with love from somewhere else.