Family no longer supportive - Possible jealousy?

[Seals101]

Hi,

I was always the black sheep in my family. I was rebellious and didn't pursue my education as far as my siblings did. I was also the one that was always getting into trouble.

Now that I am grown up my life is going very well. I am the only one of my siblings to own a house and it's almost paid off. I have a well paying job, great friends and recently started my own family.

I feel now that things are going very well for me that my family no longer listen or are supportive. For instance when my first child was born she was very sick and nearly died and my family weren't there for support nor did they respond when it's brought up in conversation. I feel that basically anything in my life that i bring up in conversation is ignored and if it isn't ignored they only have negative replies. It's like they don't want to know me or about my life. The negative replies are usually when I am telling them something happy and exciting that's happening in my life which makes me think there is some kind of jealousy happening. I have reached the point that I don't discuss any of the success in my life with them anymore due to the negative remarks.

I feel I am the one in the family always caring for everyone else and helping them with their problems, which really is the only time I can connect with them now 😞

I want my family to be more involved with my children (Grandparents and Uncle/Aunts etc). I see other new mums getting so much support from their families however my family don't and it saddens me.

I have tried talking to them about how I feel and they only half listened. I received a nod and "That sounds great" but it became apparent when wanting to spend the extra time with them that they weren't really listening.

I now don't know what to do as I don't want to push it with them. I am expecting my second child soon and would love my family to be more of a part of my life.

Should I just leave them be and accept them how they are or should I try to connect with them more?

[Fairywings]

Hi lovely and welcome. I still am the black sheep of my family bc I don't conform 🙂 lol never have never will as I am my own individual 🙂 So proud of you to have achieved those goals in life well done and good on you for your hard work it has def paid off. AHHHHHH I'm so sorry ur going thru this. I can def empathize with you here bc this is how my hubby side of are now we don't even speak see or have even heard of them I know it's sad but we cannot feel guilty for their jelousy we need to move on with our lives. You could try writing a letter to you family and see how that goes and I am deeply sadend to know of this behaviour - I'm so sorry FAMILY !!!!!!! I would try writing the letter and in the meantime just distance urself I hope my response has found you some confort It was nice to speak with you please reach out to us anytime you feel the need to big hugs Venessa xx

[white knight]

Hi and welcome

You won't change them.

I decided a long time ago that my "family" consisted of those that wanted me and cared as I did for them. Also good friends are family.

You can't pick your family as the saying goes. Drift away but keep in touch

Tony WK

[geoff]

hello Seals, maybe the site should be called 'the black sheep', sorry only joking, but I too was the black sheep, but you are the one that risen far beyond what the rest of your family has been able to do, and that's a credit for what you have done.
To me it seems that it could be a situation where the underdog has finally taken the lead and that's why they are annoyed and probably disappointed and ask themselves 'how can he do this' as you were the one they thought would never get ahead.
I wish it would change but I can't see it happening at the moment, you have tried to make the situation better but they half rejected and ignored your approach, wait until they want to come to you, I'm sure this could happen after awhile, and congratulations on expecting your second child.
You won't be able to change how they feel, you have to wait until they change their tune. Geoff.