Estranged from my mother

[Estrangedandalone]

I'm at a loss. I've recently had a very big falling out with my mother. It hurts to breathe
I feel sick in the stomach. Can't sleep Can't concentrate. My dad passed 10 years ago and my mum became very controlling of my life. She became fixated on what my little family was doing. She needed to know where and what we were doing how much money we had who we were with basically everything. I would often tell her lies because she would criticise everything I did. As a young adult she would tell me I was getting fat or would say picky stuff to me about my appearance. Then as my kids got older she would say your daughter is too overweight its your responsibility to make her lose weight the other needs a breast reduction, your daughters are spending too much money they are spoilt. Over the years she's called me cruel heartless weak and recently said I deserve to be alone. I know I should be able to accept criticism but I'm just tired of her telling me how to run my life. Our relationship was more like a dictatorship. I know my mum doesn't feel the same for me as she does my brother and my cousin. My cousin more like the daughter she wants. It's a pretty messed up family maybe I'm better on my own.

[ecomama]

Hey E, oh wow, WELL DONE YOU!

What a CHAMPION you are!

I'm really impressed by what you've managed to do for yourself today!

Bestest wishes for your appointment on Monday. And by the way your mother was wrong about SO MANY things.... on to begin with is YOU DO DESERVE LOVE and a very loving relationship.

You can begin with loving yourself!
I'm so proud of you.

Kristen Neff has wonderful free talks online I watched while having a scrubby bath! LOL!
That's just a bath when I use all sorts of lovely smelling stuff to scrub myself with.
Kristen doesn't mind lol.

She speaks about self-compassion.

We also have a Self-care thread you might want to pop over and visit!
I started that thread in my quizzical response to a trauma psych on a helpline telling me in NO uncertain terms that I needed "RADICAL self-care", then I asked if it was a thing I could Google lol and it IS!

Time for YOU dear E.

We're here ALL the time for you. And if you're ever lonely you can pop into the BB Cafe and see the funny things ppl talk about OR the after midnight thread which is kind of 24 hours lol.

Take care dear girl.
Love EM and LOTS of hugs too!!