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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Indoz Confused about us
  • replies: 2

I am so confused about our marriage and have been since nearly past 2 years. We were so much in love, but it just doesn’t exist anymore. We don’t talk much and I don’t feel any emotional connection between us. I guess one of the biggest reason our re... View more

I am so confused about our marriage and have been since nearly past 2 years. We were so much in love, but it just doesn’t exist anymore. We don’t talk much and I don’t feel any emotional connection between us. I guess one of the biggest reason our relationship was great was because he use to be very calm, loving and full of positive emotions. But it has all changed, he has now become repulsive, and snaps. He blames me for his behaviour change and believes that I have been dominating him since our marriage and now he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t understand that his snapping behaviour is causing us emotional grief. I go through sleepless nights. We have lost all intimacy and emotional balance in our marriage. The only time we talk is if we need something done at home. Every time I try to talk to him, he says he understands that things are not the same but we will work it out. I have told him that this whole relationship turmoil is leading me to have an affair where I can find someone to emotionally support me. And all he says is that it’s fine and I am an adult who can make their own decision. I don’t understand if our relationship will go back to what it was or not? I love him, what can I do to fix it?

PinkPigg Keep pushing people away old/new relationships
  • replies: 1

I've been trying to reach out to people who I once pushed away when my anxiety and depression was really bad. I've begun taking medication and have a better mindset, but I can't connect with anyone and it's making me spiral back into a deep depressio... View more

I've been trying to reach out to people who I once pushed away when my anxiety and depression was really bad. I've begun taking medication and have a better mindset, but I can't connect with anyone and it's making me spiral back into a deep depression. I need advice in maintaining/fixing old and new friendships/relationships. I've been alone for a while and want to make an effort but even then it doesn't look like anything I'm doing is working.

coco1691 Why is this happening to me
  • replies: 3

For the last two years I've felt very little for anyone in a romantic sense. There was one guy that I went on one date with and I had sparks but he was a jerk and would have made my life terrible as I found out a fee days later. So I broke it off. I'... View more

For the last two years I've felt very little for anyone in a romantic sense. There was one guy that I went on one date with and I had sparks but he was a jerk and would have made my life terrible as I found out a fee days later. So I broke it off. I've went on countless dates with guys and I actually have a new boyfriend at the mkoment. He easily makes me smile and can pick my mood up off the floor so quickly. He's supportive and caring and puts me first. We have a lot of things in common and we have a ton of fun together. I never get bored of him being around. He's not bad looking either. His smile always makes everything seem so much better. So why am I feeling blank? Why do I not have intense feelings for this man if he's everything I've ever wanted? When in alone, why do I often feel like breaking away from him and distancing myself? 2 years ago I was with a man I loved more than anything in this world and I felt so so much for him that it was unexplainable. We dated for a year and a half and then he broke up with me one morning in a text message. I cried for months. It hurt me more than anything ever has. I've never been the same since then. I also have borderline personality and OCD along with depression and anxiety. I'm constantly questioning what I feel for him and if I'm doing the right thing or if I'm wrong or I'm sabotaging myself by psyching myself out. I can't get in contact with my therapist to have a session because of lockdown and she doesn't help that much anyway. Can someone help me make sense of all this. I told him last night I felt blank towards him and it's put him in a downwards spiral and I'm crowing between what he's saying and the guilt and sadness I feel mixed with the bad thoughts travelling through my head constantly questioning everything. I'm at the point where I just want to drive and drive anywhere to escape everything. I'm not coping at all. Not to mention I lost my pet a week ago whom was 10 years old. That broke my heart. Please don't tell me to leave my boyfriend because that just makes my head worse. I need some sort of insight into why I'm feeling how I do and how can I fix this.

High_Anxiety Disposable relationships
  • replies: 35

Hi there, Just wondering if anyone else is seeing that relationships and marriage are a disposable item these days? I have been searching the net as I'm potentially going through a break up of an 8 yo marriage and there seems to be a lot of stories a... View more

Hi there, Just wondering if anyone else is seeing that relationships and marriage are a disposable item these days? I have been searching the net as I'm potentially going through a break up of an 8 yo marriage and there seems to be a lot of stories and examples where when life gets a little too uncomfortable with someone you just end it like tossing them away. Why is it that some people give up so easily on people that they are supposed to love? Where has commitment gone? Yet some of the stories in this forum show that some people tolerate so much pain yet still won't let go!

kiwiboy0897 Help!
  • replies: 10

Hi, I am in need of advice and perspective. I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now, and our relationship has been very strong. We both feel a very strong connection between us which we think is rare, and are very serious about staying togethe... View more

Hi, I am in need of advice and perspective. I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now, and our relationship has been very strong. We both feel a very strong connection between us which we think is rare, and are very serious about staying together. We are monogamous, and we value loyalty and honesty. This is my first real serious relationship. I have struggled with anxiety, depression and PTSD for a very long time. My boyfriend works at a gym as a trainer. He conducts classes with many people simultaneously, kind of like a boot camp. In November last year, there was a new person who signed up. My boyfriend found his social media, and saw that I had liked one of his posts. He asked if I knew him, and I said yes. Him and I had a fling a few years back. One day, as my boyfriend was going in to shower at the gym, and this guy (I will call him Tony) followed him and came onto him by choking him and making sexual remarks. My boyfriend told him to get off, and pushed him out of the room. Eventually, Tony apologised as he hadn't realised my boyfriend was in a relationship. Along the coming months, the two of them developed a friendship. Tony owns a business, and my boyfriend is looking to start a business of his own, so Tony would give him advice on business ideas, etc. They would go for walks after class and discuss this. One day, Tony admitted to my boyfriend that he had developed feelings for him. My boyfriend responded by confessing he had developed something for him, too. He describes it to me as solely an admiration for his motivation and drive rather than infatuation, falling in love or desire. He told Tony that it sucked this was how he felt, but he told him that in the end, he loves me and nothing would become of this mutual attraction. He has never thought of him in a sexual way, more so just attraction to a personality trait. A few hours after this ordeal, my boyfriend told me what had happened, crying. I consoled him, and we talked about it. He was remorseful, and acknowledges he made a mistake. That was two months ago, and I still can't get it out of my head. The trust has come back, but I still feel hurt. He has completely cut him off. I do not want to leave. I can’t think of how someone who says they are loyal can develop an attraction for someone else, and confess the way they feel to them. When I asked him why he confessed to Tony, he said that it just came out. He didn’t really think about it, and that it was a mistake. Advice?

Carolyn_Rae What to do
  • replies: 8

Hi, Don't know how to deal with being insulted for not being a mind reader. All because, after my bf had eaten, (he's not feeling well - he has a migraine), and then I make myself a salad, to which he took offence, because I didn't make him one. Didn... View more

Hi, Don't know how to deal with being insulted for not being a mind reader. All because, after my bf had eaten, (he's not feeling well - he has a migraine), and then I make myself a salad, to which he took offence, because I didn't make him one. Didn't know he wanted one and he'd been helping himself to snacks throughout the morning. He said he didn't ask because he thinks that I don't care. I'm confused. I got him an ice pack when he asked, I suggested he go into the room with the air-conditioned because where he was sitting, it was stuffy. What did I do wrong?

Sue01 Needing to separate from husband for child’s sake and mine
  • replies: 5

Hi I’m new to this.. I am posting this forum as I have been thinking constantly of leaving my husband for months/years. I am in a marriage that is verbally abusive and want to get out. Our daughter is in primary school and has been living in this tox... View more

Hi I’m new to this.. I am posting this forum as I have been thinking constantly of leaving my husband for months/years. I am in a marriage that is verbally abusive and want to get out. Our daughter is in primary school and has been living in this toxic environment with me. Thoughts have been running around in my head constantly... how will we survive financially as I am studying in my 50s and don’t have a full time job. I have no family where I live, they live in another state, but if I go back to them (elderly parents and 2 brothers) Where will we live and employment options are low. I don’t want my daughter having a life with no family around her but me if we stay in this state. I own a house with my husband but if I move out and leave him will he trash the house and so we can’t sell it for a good amount. If I stay in this area after leaving him will all his family and relations who live here make it hard on me. I would have left him years ago if it wasn’t for my daughter as even though he is verbally abusive my daughter loves him very much (she knows he’s an angry man), but wouldn’t want us to separate, but I don’t want her growing up thinking this is a normal relationship. What to do, and how I take my first step, I don’t know. Has anyone been in this situation and come out the other side better off??

Lucky_b Marriage bust up
  • replies: 13

We broke up 14 months ago we two kids. We get along great but she has already slept with 6 guys and last one is cheating on her and she knows it but keeps going back in bed with him it eats me up y she would allow him to to treat her like this it bre... View more

We broke up 14 months ago we two kids. We get along great but she has already slept with 6 guys and last one is cheating on her and she knows it but keeps going back in bed with him it eats me up y she would allow him to to treat her like this it breaks me up because we had to break up because I was lazy maybe I should have shit on. I feel worthless I am looking around no one wants a bar of me why am I so bad I don’t understand it it’s eating me up

josh88 Stepson Problems
  • replies: 1

I first met my partner 5 years ago and she had a son. He was 5 at the time. I tried to bond and create a friendship with him. It worked for a while but as he got older the tension between us grew. He is now 10. He is a very defiant and disrespectful ... View more

I first met my partner 5 years ago and she had a son. He was 5 at the time. I tried to bond and create a friendship with him. It worked for a while but as he got older the tension between us grew. He is now 10. He is a very defiant and disrespectful child. He likes to be in control and doesn't like rules.This may sound typical but it isn't. I see him be disrespectful and defiant to his mum on a daily basis. He is in a stage of manipulating situations to suit what he wants at that point of time aswell. As a stepparent (in this relationship anyway), my role is to step back and not be involved in any discipline. If i do become involved, there are issues for me and my partner. So i have to sit back and watch while he torments my other children, wakes them up on purpose when they are sleeping, and does what he can to feed his addiction of computer gaming. You may think that i need to show him love and acceptance as a stepchild, but i honestly do. I do special things just for him. I take him go-karting, i made a campfire in our backyard. I organise fun things for him. Yet, he throws it all back in my face. Tells me these things are boring. Is it bad that i don't really like him either at the moment? I know that sounds horrible but the kid torments me, tells me to shut up, go away, he has laid punches into me (at the strength of a 10 year old, but still), he is ruining any chance of me having a loving relationship with his mother. He is impacting my ability to be a dad myself. I feel a strong sense of anxiety whenever i am in a room with him. I don't want him around and enjoy it when he goes to his dad's place for the occasional weekend. Does this make me a bad person? My partner will always have her son's best interests at heart first and she believes that this problem rests with me. He uses this to his advantage and has heard us talk about this. He now tells his mum that i'm being mean if i ask him something in an attempt to create issues between us. He now even tells me off if i try to discipline my own children.. What do i do...?

Guest_3256 Walking on eggshells - dealing with a partner who pushes me away
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone. I am looking for some reasonable advise in regards to my situation. Maybe people who have even experienced a similar situation and what you did to grow a healthy sustainable relationship or what actions you used. My partner has some ment... View more

Hi everyone. I am looking for some reasonable advise in regards to my situation. Maybe people who have even experienced a similar situation and what you did to grow a healthy sustainable relationship or what actions you used. My partner has some mental health issues which causes him to experience rapidly changing moods. The main issue is around infidelity. He has recently told me (after many excruciating discussions) that he cannot trust me and repeatedly accuses me of cheating with other men. He has broken up with me nearly once a week and then comes back. Push/ pull cycle. He recently told me that he gets thoughts in his head and also that he hears voices. The voices range from the neighbours telling him is on drugs, that people are out to get him and the worst one is that someone (friend apparently) is telling him that I am constantly sleeping around. He is super affectionate one minute and can turn into a vicious Veloster raptor the next. It's a constant journey of walking on egg shells. It's a roller coaster of emotions, manipulations and gaslighting. Other than that, he is very caring, loving, we bond on such a close level and he showers me with loads of love. There are a lot of good times, however, he will always look at the bad times - in which he caused. In saying that, I am always the one he blames for him feeling the way he does. This is very confusing and very exhausting to handle. Obviously I love him which is why I am writing this so I do have some faith that he will become better, I's like to get some advise and what people have done, what options they explored and if things could become easier. Jsua - "living on the edge of the sward."