Devastated and don’t know I can go on

[Ckb]

2 weeks ago my husband of 37 years and 2 adult boys announced to me he didn’t know if he loved me and told me he had fantasies about a friend of his. She was a client and I had been warned many times by others that she was after him.

I found intimate messages between them. He packed up and left to stay with friends.
he only contacted me today with implying I’m talking bad about him and accusing him of an affair. Also that I’m telling our children toxic things about him, which isn’t true.

he asked me to let him Go.

I am totally devastated and can’t function. I didn’t reply.. I haven’t eaten for 2 weeks, can’t sleep.. I’m talking to my GP who is monitoring my health.

I also have a health issue where I need to have tests done to confirm if I have blood cancer or not, which petrifies me.

our boys still live in our property and I feel I can’t stay here as it’s too painful. Our business was from our property and I can’t and don’t want to go back to work. So I have no income.
I feel completely blindsided, shocked and in total disbelief.

I have no idea what to do, he hates me and I don’t understand why.

we have always had a healthy and loving relationship, and he struggles with mental health and can get paranoid. And I’ve always helped him navigate that. He is safe where he is, and I don’t want to add any pressure or questions to him, but I have been told other people are telling him untruths about me.

how do I go forward ? Who am I without him?

how do my boys find their relationship with him again?

ive had some help with a professional, but it hasn’t helped..

I don’t know what to do..

[geoff]

Hello Ckb, it is so sad after all these years that this happened but maybe your blood cancer is where you needed support from your husband, rather than what he's said and done to you.

I am really sorry to you, especially when he has also said many untruths and stirred up by this person he is with, and your sons may not have any more connection with him, only because he has done this himself, so he will eventually suffer and not see any grandkids that may arrive in the future.

He has asked you to let him go, then that's what maybe should happen, you need all the help with this diagnosis and your sons will be there for you.

There are many decisions you need to make and we want to support you all the way because you may want some reassurances with what you want to do, so we are here for you.

My best wishes.

Geoff.

[Ckb]

Geoff

thank u so much for your kind words.. I’m feeling like he dosent deserve me.. I don’t believe I did anything wrong..

but being blamed for everything and the lies he is saying makes me feel so attacked…

I have no voice with him.. I want and need to accept it is over.. but the pain is so real and debilitating..

[geoff]

Hello Ckb, if you have no voice against him, then it would always be a struggle to cope with his lies, try and understand that your best option is to believe it's over, the longer you try and hold onto the belief that may be it could have worked, is not possible from what you've told us.

If you can block him from all contact with you, then you can start another life.

Best wishes.

Geoff.