Dealing with being alone after breakup, also with anxiety and depression
i have been taking medication for depression and anxiety for almost 6 months, during that entire period i have smoked cannabis every day because i felt it helped me detatch from negative feelings and around the right people made me quite happy.
About a month ago my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me just because we were no longer happy together anymore.
which was ended up being a mutual agreement and we left it on fairly good terms. I have been dealing with it rather well i feel and havent gotten too upset about it which actually also worried me a bit because something that significant should upset someone alot but it hasnt. We also have a one year old son which has made it a little hard because of all things that come along with seperation when children are involved but coping fine with that. Still spending lots of time with my son which is very good for me.
recently i have been feeling quite depressed and anxious and suffering attacks of anxiety in social situations and it has become overwhelming.
my doctors advised me to stop smoking marijuana but of course that went in one ear and out the other.
Last weekend i went out with some family friends and had a cocktail of drugs over the weekend and ended up freaking out from anxiety in a nightclub and for anyone who has used mdma before the depression experienced in the following days is almost unbearable, my issue is that the depression has not subsided and reguardless of the fact i am taking my medication i feel so unhappy but also unable to show my emotion or feel like i can cry to let it out. All of my sadness gets converted into frustration and anger which puts me back in the cycle of wanting to smoke marijuana again because that makes me instantly feel better.
i have a doctors appointment today and im going to ask about options for stopping smoking it altogether and maybe go up a dose on my anti depressants.
i have become detatched socially and even when i do catch up with friends i am not with it and nothing is enjoyable for me, i am 23 and have a lot of responsibility in my life and a lot of stress and i just need a constructive way to relieve it. Im ready to make positive changes in my life for my sons sake also. Is anyone else here experiencing similar situations?
Hi J.m.o I really feel for you, going through so much. You said you went out with family friends, do you associate with them much? You need to be with people at the moment, being alone while you're recovering from a broken relationship is extremely difficult. I think that you should discuss with your Dr about entering rehab to help with detox from the marijuana. Marijuana as you know gives you an instant 'high', but the depression experienced coming down is worse than the high originally experienced. You are on a emotional merry-go-round with highs and lows from everything you're experiencing. Once you can get some help to work through the pain of separation and losing your son, this will help your recovery. It's great you can spend time with your son, he needs to know his father's there. The anti depressants will help put you on a more even keel, but it will take time for your system to adjust to a higher dose. Discuss with your Dr also any side effects from a higher dose. Tell your Dr about smoking marijuana, he needs to know so he can help you more.
I think Pipsy has pretty well said it all. Depression and drugs don't mix. Marijuana, even if legal, is obviously not a drug you can tolerate as demonstrated by your reactions once you come down from the high. Whether other people have the same experience or not is irrelevant. You are not doing well. So go to your doctor and ask him/her to set up a plan for you. Talk about rehab. Talk about antidepressants. I rather think they do not go well together and if you are anything like I was six months when two, legally prescribed, drugs interacted badly, then you have my sympathy.
I am sorry your GF left and that you no longer live with your son. Have you considered how much your smoking habit contributed to this? So if you get off illegal drugs and make headway with your depression, maybe you will get together. In any event your son will have a father he can admire. And that is worth so much more than drug habit.