Dating in your 20's sucks, how can an introvert meet someone without dating apps?

[Baileysmells]

A few years ago, my social life was great. I was getting consistent dates, still had a small but close network of mates and I had no insecurities about this part of my life. Fast forward to now however, its a shell of what it used to be. I had to move away from the Gold Coast in 2021, leaving behind a great relationship in the process and now live in a much smaller place comparatively. This made me fall into a deep depression and I subsequently fell out of touch of all my friends.

To put a cherry on top of everything, my matches on dating apps have completely died out and the dates I do go on don't turn into anything and usually lead to me getting ghosted. This is sending me into a spiral not knowing what is going wrong. Be it the location/culture, my medication changing me as a person or my mental health getting in the way- now that I think of it I do seek out a certain type in emo girls, could be a factor lmao. I'm honestly about done with dating apps but what is a hardcore introvert like myself supposed to do to meet people irl? Do you have any tips for navigating dating in your 20's and dealing with being ghosted every month? I just want a serious relationship.

This is a much smaller place compared to where I used to live and not a whole lot is going on, I don't have my P's and its so car dependent as well. I'm stumped. This loneliness is really starting to get to me. I realized recently that connection is really the only thing I value in life, I used to love being alone but since I've started dating I feel empty without it.

Any advice or words are appreciated ❤️ thanks for taking the time to hear me out

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been going through such a tough time, and I appreciate you opening up about your experiences. It's completely natural for life changes and relocation to affect your social life and dating prospects. It's clear that you've been dealing with a lot of challenges, and it's okay to feel the way you do.

Navigating dating and social connections can be challenging, especially when you're in a new and smaller place. Your worth is not determined by your dating success or the number of friends you have. While you have moved to a smaller place, I wonder what things you are interested in that might take place there? Attending local events or gatherings related to your passions can be one way to connect with like-minded individuals.

Additionally, reaching out to old friends or trying to reconnect with them might help rekindle some of those past connections. This might seems odd, but I did reach out someone I had not talked to for about 17 years and we restarted a friendship.

More on dating apps... sometimes, people's actions are a reflection of their own issues and not a reflection of your worth. And it's okay to seek support from a therapist or counselor if you're struggling with loneliness or depression.

You're not alone in your desire for meaningful connections, and it's something many people seek. You deserve happiness and connection in your life, and with time and effort, you can find them again.

[Baileysmells]

Thanks for replying! I knew this place was going to be a downgrade but I didn't think it would destroy my social life smh.

The trouble I have with meeting people irl is that I don't have any hobbies or the like that would warrant a meet up or something along those lines. I just like to chill in my room on my pc, nice and quiet with no stress. This severely limits the activities I can do in a group setting, not that there's much to do here anyway 😞 I'm also riddled with social anxiety and that makes group settings with strangers terrifying to me. I'm my own worst enemy. I guess I'm interested in skate boarding but I can't do anything beyond ride the board and I have nowhere to practice where I won't be seen failing.

I really should message my friends again, they just tend to be high maintenance, I start chatting again and all of the sudden I'm overwhelmed with plans and my battery can't keep up, I hate to always be like "I'm not in the mood" constantly so I just stop trying. 

Dating apps suck! There's always someone better than you 2 swipes away and as a male you have to pay to get anywhere, its so predatory.

I feel like beyond the location too, dating at this age is just a rocky climb, it has been for me anyway. I appreciate it, sorry if I seem dismissive of the solutions. It's just where my mind takes me.