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Confused on relationship,

Community Member
Hi ive been in a relationship for 8 years ever since high school it has its ups and downs. But recently another guy has come onto the scene.
He always there for me and we can chat for ages talking about everything, he's admitted to liking me. Im starting to get these fantasy about being with him. We have been chatting lil sexually and he seems to give me butterflies.
Im not sure if what I want is to be in a relationship with him or be a side fling? I still love my partner but im not sure why im doubting about being with other guys
Please has anyone else been in this kind of situation before. Im torn inside on what I should do
2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello KittyMum,

Welcome to the forums. 8 years is a long time. Since you don't know why you feel this way, I'm guessing you still feel your current partner is good for you but it's the lack of "newness" that's making you doubt your relationship. In other words, you're beginning to feel like that relationship doesn't have the spark of romance anymore.

It may be worth taking some time to reflect on what is lacking in your currently relationship that this new guy is giving you. Consider if these things can be fixed in your currently relationship by talking openly your partner about what you want from your relationship. For example, if the only thing you're drawn to now is the thrill of talking to this new guy and the butterflies you get, then it's not a good enough reason to consider leaving your current partner because a relationship with the new guy will eventually feel "stale" too. It's better you talk to your partner about what both of you can do to keep the romance alive.


Community Member

hi KittyMum.

Have you thought about having a fling with your partner, maybe spicing it up, taking each other on dates, being 'naughty naughty' with him, going to the movies, getting out of the house and going to places like a winery, out to dinner, going on a small trip away, going to the beach, go-carting together, having a candle- lit dinner, watching the stars, etc etc. Then you wouldn't be looking for someone else to fill the void.

Focus on what you have, grow your own grass, be proud of what you have because it's more than you realise and know that you have someone more special than you realise. 

Take the plunge, delete this fella whom you are toying with and live you life and make it the way you want to with you man. HEHE. Good luck and aim high 🙂