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Confused about what to do bf wise

Oceanbug
Community Member
For the last 6 weeks my bf of 2.5yrs has stopped showing me affection.
When i asked what was wrong he said that nothing makes him happy anymore. One minute he is happy and want a to be around me and then next he wants to be alone. But he hasnt changed towards his friends, he does more things with them and barely wants to do anything with me. But yet tells me that it's not me, that it's him but he doesn't know what is wrong. He still wants to have sex every now and then and during its like nothing changed. He is into it and tells me I'm sexy and treats me like a million bucks. But after it's over it's back to how it has been, loveless almost.

I've given him space by going away for 4 days and letting him be the one to make contact with me, which he did and even rang me unexpected to have a chat. I've been taking a step back and just being there when he wants/ needs me but obviously sometimes it gets the better of me. He does not enjoy work atm and it is a very sore subject, so I try to avoid it.
I have been staying positive and not getting upset with him seeing it and just showing I'm happy but it isn't changing. The last time we had problems he called it quits but this time he isn't. I'm not sure if he cnt bring himself to do it or he doesn't want it to end
1 Reply 1

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Oceanbug, and a warm welcome.

I'm sorry to hear of your circumstances and it's good that you have given him some space, however, if he enjoys the time he has with his friends and wants to be intimate with you, but tells you 'it's not you, it's him' can be seen in a few ways.

It could be an excuse for breaking up with you while trying not to hurt your feelings, or maybe he realises that he's not feeling well and needs to consult with his doctor, that's something you could ask him to get his reaction.

The problem is if he wants to stay in contact with you just for sexual reasons then that's a relationship you need to leave.

This must be confusing for you and it might be a good idea for you to see your doctor and get some understanding from a psychologist.

Best wishes.

Geoff.