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Struggling with seperation

Lostnalone19
Community Member

Hi all,

I don't know where to start..

So my partner and I met 3 years ago and from the first moment we fell in love fast and hard we both wanted each other bad 24/7.

I deal with low self-esteem and never felt worthy enough for her when infact I should have she is an amazing person and has alot of love to give and she gave me all she had, I fell into a hole and it's a daily struggle as I suffer from depression, anxiety, stress, jealousy, and very insecure. The last 6 months I hadn't had a job which caused alot of stress on her. Constantly had my head in my phone looking for work trying to find something that would bring in the big dollars but yet have a home life, let me tell you it doesn't exist. I should of been content and happy with what I had and enjoy the finer things in life. Long story short she broke it off with me. We still talk occasionally n the phone it's hard because I want another chance to prove my worth as I've learnt and see where and what I've done and didn't do which I can fix to create the life we wanted. She says she loves me but not like she used to. My mind is telling me to just give up and move on but my heart says keep on fighting, but I'm not sure how long I can fight. She says that she feels the same way. But she said things need to change and I'm prepared to do what it takes but worried I'm going to lose. It's been hard for her the last few months seeing me sloth on the couch day in day out while she basically done everything which is totally not me in the early days I done lots of cleaning cooking etc but just found myself in a rutt where I thought is was impossible to get through I gave up on myself and my life and this has made me realise that I have so much to offer and want to reconcile with her as she is the love of my life. But I think it might be little to late to fix I just don't know. All I know is that if she was to give me another chance she definitely wouldn't regret it

Sorry to bore you all with my problems but just want to see if anyone can give me any advice or shine a light on it abit more .

Thanks.

1 Reply 1

Peppermintbach
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Lostnalone,

I feel the past 6 months must have been very strained and stressful for both of you. You sound heartbroken and as though you’re really missing her. As you said, she’s the love of your life....being apart must be painful...

I think sometimes when we’re struggling with our mental health, a lot of things can (unintentionally and through no one’s “fault”) slide...I realise it can be hard to find the motivation to do many of the things that we used to take for granted, e.g. housework, when a person is struggling with anxiety and depression. I feel for you...

I wonder if you’ve asked to have a long and open talk with her. Maybe it would be a way for you to tell her that you want to try again. That you’re willing to make changes and that you’re open to compromise and listen to feedback. Also, I feel it would be a good way to see if she’s also interested in the same...

I suppose what I’m getting at is perhaps a good starting point is to see whether you could potentially be on the same page...see if you both want to give your relationship another go. It’s just that if you’re willing, but she’s adamantly against that (for example, not saying that’s necessarily how she feels) then I feel perhaps it would be respectful to respect her wishes & let her go.

But on the other hand, if she is willing to give the relationship another go...then there’s your chance. But to figure out your next step, whatever that may be, I feel open communication would be helpful...

That being said, I know those are just my personal thoughts and opinions.I understand that my ideas may or may not be suitable or helpful, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to share...

I’m thinking of you and if you feel like writing in again (no pressure though), there are many caring people here reading along 🙂

Kind and caring thoughts to you,

Pepper