Hi, welcome
There are a few secrets in communication rarely talked about. I hope I can help you with them.
Firstly, communication can be affected by many things- introverted personality, dyslexia, anxiety, social anxiety, lack of confidence, shyness, lack of knowledge, lack of research and so on. Whatever the reason blame isnt fair on you so try not to feel bad about it.
So say your partner is found crying and doesnt speak. Here is the procedures I would take for you-
- Make them a drink even if they say they dont want one... tea coffee or cold drink. This is a diversion technique that can distract them even if they dont touch it for many minutes, its there waiting for them to drink it.
- Touch their shoulder. A hand on the shoulder can do 2 things- 1/ it tells them you are there (when distraught they sometime block out the presence of people) and 2/ they could turn and hug you, they have a choice.
- Relax, they can sometimes take a long time to settle. It took my 90 minutes once.
- When they finally settle down and stop crying say "are you ok now"? "I'd like to go for a coffee at that cafe we like, how about it"? (this strategy is expanding the distraction plan.)
- When they have made lots of progress then you pull out your phone and show them a video clip you know they will like. eg my wife loves whales breaching so I have one clip of that she hasnt seen, saved for those times.
- So thats it... how many words is that? less than 20.
When it comes to basic communication with friends or family the secret is in the questions. When people are asked questions they like to boast or tell you the answers. Say someone is telling you they fly aeroplanes and talk about it for a while- "did it take you long to get your pilot license? How many engines does the plane have? Are you ever scared? and so on.
I hope that helps.
TonyWK
