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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Beans Bean
  • replies: 3

My partner just expressed to me he has had a porn addiction the whole time we have been dating. I feel so hurt and feel like the trust I had for him has completely been broken. What do I do? He wants to work through this but I can’t think straight af... View more

My partner just expressed to me he has had a porn addiction the whole time we have been dating. I feel so hurt and feel like the trust I had for him has completely been broken. What do I do? He wants to work through this but I can’t think straight after such a shock. I’m hurting so bad. What should I do?

Guest_66456041 Just lost my long post
  • replies: 2

Anyone know how to find a post u submitted. Didn't mean to click anything and now it's either gone or I've posted somewhere accidentally. If I didn't feel so bad inside I would actually laugh at this. Typical, I finally get the courage to reach out a... View more

Anyone know how to find a post u submitted. Didn't mean to click anything and now it's either gone or I've posted somewhere accidentally. If I didn't feel so bad inside I would actually laugh at this. Typical, I finally get the courage to reach out and my post glitches. Fml honestly.

Guest Partner cheated now she in our lives.
  • replies: 6

Married 25 years, Before we where married he cheated.I forgived him and love him with all my heart and we move on.We moved in together, had three kids and been now Married 25 years.Married life has had many ups and downs, but we always work things ou... View more

Married 25 years, Before we where married he cheated.I forgived him and love him with all my heart and we move on.We moved in together, had three kids and been now Married 25 years.Married life has had many ups and downs, but we always work things out.Is it unreasonable to ask him to stay away from and to stop communication with this women he had affair with?He seem to respect this boundaries.Problem with this is she is now with his and in our lives every day.I try to play happy family with her but get very annoyed, almost angry when I find out that he has been going over to her house for Dinner, Lunch Coffees when Im not around and his brother is not home, He text's her, call's her and she comes over to our place often when I'm away.I've asked for boundaries regarding this, but he seems to not care about my feelings regarding this matter and says it's a non issue.Am I in the wrong?

Guest_94201594 Why do I feel so shaken up, even if I gave my full consent?
  • replies: 4

for a quick context: I met a guy a few weeks ago, who seemed nice and friendly. However, after knowing him for a week he started inviting me to various activities with his group of friends (a mix of males and females, including his then girlfriend) a... View more

for a quick context: I met a guy a few weeks ago, who seemed nice and friendly. However, after knowing him for a week he started inviting me to various activities with his group of friends (a mix of males and females, including his then girlfriend) and I didnt think much of it, I was just excited to make new friends. A very short time after meeting, I discovered he broke up with his girlfriend. not even the next day, he admits to liking me, however i stupidly believed that we werent in a relationship/not going to act on this 'liking'. Also, he is quite a bit older than me.Just a week after him admitting to liking me, and despite multiple friends warning me to cut him off, I ended up in a sexual situation which I wont go into. Even though I gave consent at the time, I was drunk, and did not enjoy it. Ive showered so much but I can't get the feeling of disgust off me. I feel incredibly violated and I would consider it a traumatising experience. The next day I was so off that I eventually confided in my friends, who helped me message him, and now I'm ghosting him for the time being. I cant believe I was so stupid as to get myself into that situation, knowing I don't reciprocate the attraction. Any advice on how to overcome the sexual trauma or explain my sudden coldness to him would be much appreciated (as far as he knows, I had a good time), I feel extremely guilty about everything and uncomfortable in my own skin.

Lostgal My partners been unfaithful in the past and I dont know where to go from here.
  • replies: 1

I feel so lost. I have 2 beautiful children I adore. I first found out my partner had cheated in 2018 when I was 9 months pregnant with my first child. We separated in 2021 but it only lasted 6 months. We decided on a fresh start and build our dream ... View more

I feel so lost. I have 2 beautiful children I adore. I first found out my partner had cheated in 2018 when I was 9 months pregnant with my first child. We separated in 2021 but it only lasted 6 months. We decided on a fresh start and build our dream house. We fell pregnant 12 months later and I found out I had an STI when my bloods were done. I was 12 weeks pregnant then and he said it must have been from when we separated. We are alone out here so I decided to stay and see how I felt once the baby was born and the house was built. My second child is now 18 months old I’m in my dream home and I feel so unhappy. I have no respect for my partner I actually hate him but I cant seem to bring myself to leave. He's ruined both my pregnancies for me and he shows me no love and support. He says that he does but I don't feel any the house is silent. But somehow I'm still here. Im not the loving partner I know I could be because he doesn't deserve it but I am hurting myself being this distant. I get frustrated with my children constantly and I think thats down to our relationship or maybe I blame them for still being here with their dad. How can you hate someone but not be able to leave them. I wont allow myself to make this work because he does’nt deserve my love and kindness but really Im just hurting myself in the process and turning into a person I don't recognise. We will here with no family I moved here for him nearly 10 years ago.

Guest_92311439 Relationship/ commitment
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I'm currently dealing with a dilemma if that's what I can call it. I was in a relationship for 4 years and for the for first 2 years it was the best thing that has happened to me, over time I had to relive some previous anxiety and depression... View more

Hi all, I'm currently dealing with a dilemma if that's what I can call it. I was in a relationship for 4 years and for the for first 2 years it was the best thing that has happened to me, over time I had to relive some previous anxiety and depression I went through a few years before the relationship started, this started to affect my ex partner and our relationship in major ways I was distant she felt unloved and all that. We have been apart for 7 months now and we still talk here and there as we are both struggling to move on or let go. Just looking for some advice on why I would feel like this:50% of me wants to let go because i feel my anxiety and depression is stopping me feeling what we once felt together but the other 50% is telling me that she is it and I want her, and only her. The thought of me or her being with someone else just just doesn't feel right at all and neither of us have yet. I'm just really cconfused.Thank you for reading

mellowp Interstate Move & Relationship Issues
  • replies: 2

My husband and I with our 2 children (13F & 9M) moved from Melbourne to Adelaide. The move occurred for a few reasons, my husband grew up in Adelaide and wanted to move back (especially after mental struggle of COVID lockdowns and affordability of ho... View more

My husband and I with our 2 children (13F & 9M) moved from Melbourne to Adelaide. The move occurred for a few reasons, my husband grew up in Adelaide and wanted to move back (especially after mental struggle of COVID lockdowns and affordability of housing) and to give the kids a slower paced life. We were having some strained relationship issues and thought the change of scenery make help. We both have national/state-based roles so could move without issue.I was on-board with the move for the promise of better opportunities and to do it for better environment for my husband and children.Although this has come at the cost of myself. I have really struggled with the relocation (it has now been 17 months). Previously I was very active and had a really good social and work network. Since moving here I have predominately been working from home, I have not met anyone except for my husband's friends' wives/partners (which at times a forced relationship). I have actively got the kids involved in lots of sports, and am participating in sporting Team Manager roles etc. But despite all of this I am feeling desperately alone, isolated and at time depressed (due to my situation).The relationship issues that were there previously had compounded, due to my feeling of giving up everything I had to please everyone else. My husband meanwhile has settled back in really well, and has reestablished old friendships is busy and out all the time with work or sporting clubs. I have expressed my feelings from the initial move and every day and week since. I have tried to tell my friends back in Melbourne, but they don't understand. My husband early on stated "you need to try harder" to feel settled, my need to "give it a chance" etc etc. Unfortunately my husband has let me down and has not supported me with this move and the way I am feeling. It has got so bad that I am looking at separation and relocating back to Melbourne with the children (whom have struggled as well, for various reasons). I am at a loss.

Guest_94809296 is it wrong for me to feel upset and doubt myself when me and my gf arent as intimate for some time
  • replies: 3

me and my girlfriend have been together for just under a year, we are both late ish teenagers and i am just under a year older than her, and lately i have noticed we sometimes fall into periods of arguing a lot more than usual, and i can’t help but n... View more

me and my girlfriend have been together for just under a year, we are both late ish teenagers and i am just under a year older than her, and lately i have noticed we sometimes fall into periods of arguing a lot more than usual, and i can’t help but notice these periods usually occur after we aren’t as intimate for a while. when we do go for long periods without intimacy which does include sex but is mainly just kissing or long hugs or even just looking into each others eyes for a while and other romantic stuff like that. it gets on my mind and it has been upsetting me quite a bit lately, especially because earlier in our relationship we did stuff like this so often and both of us were very happy to do it and were really open about it like we would talk about how good our sex was or how good it is to just lay and look into each others eyes or how much we liked longs hugs and just forget about everything else. like even when i try to guide the conversation into something like that like a long hug or just staring into her eyes for a while she usually gets distracted and doesn’t notice i am trying to have these moments with her. Or when i try to be more sexual she is quick to say no and to stop which i always stop as soon as she shows signs of not being interested or tells me to stop and i try my best to comfort her and say she is 100% entitled to say no, and i can’t tell her this because i feel if i do it will sound to her like i am trying to guilt trip her into sex but when she does say no and we don’t have sex for a while it does make me a bit upset especially since earlier in our relationship we would do it a lot like multiple times per week and sometimes multiple times per day. it makes me feel like maybe i am not as attractive as i was at the start of our relationship or she is not as attracted to me but she does assure me a lot she loves me very much. I guess what i’m asking is if it’s bad for it to affect me when we don’t have intimacy for long periods of time and if it is bad i need help on how to not get upset when we don’t have them. and if it’s normal then what should i say to her without it coming across like i am trying to guilt trip her into having sex with me when she doesn’t want to

SizzleW Is it emotional abuse?
  • replies: 2

I have been married for 13 years. Over the last 2 years I feel like I have been emotionally abused. He likes to talk about my past (i was a wild child, experimented as a teen etc..) he did not in his teens. He likes to talk about my past sexual histo... View more

I have been married for 13 years. Over the last 2 years I feel like I have been emotionally abused. He likes to talk about my past (i was a wild child, experimented as a teen etc..) he did not in his teens. He likes to talk about my past sexual history (i feel as though we have been married for so long what does it matter?) We have a healthy and fulfilling sex life. He likes to make snide remarks about my past, he likes to hold it against me, he thinks he's not good enough even though I've expressed multiple times that he is. Today was kind of the last straw for me - he had a terrible dream about me and I have to deal with the consequences of that dream. Is this emotional abuse?

user123 My son loves it his dad's house more
  • replies: 4

Hi all, we are in a (to a degree) amicable coparenting situation however my son's stepmom (she is 22YO we are 36YO) - we both share 50% of the custody.My son (6) doesn't stop talking about how amazing they are and how much he loves it over there. It ... View more

Hi all, we are in a (to a degree) amicable coparenting situation however my son's stepmom (she is 22YO we are 36YO) - we both share 50% of the custody.My son (6) doesn't stop talking about how amazing they are and how much he loves it over there. It a bit of Disneyland over there with the whole family involved, lots of sleepovers, he goes away for work a lot so he goes to babysitters. Where over here, my family is overseas, we are always there, every day is the same. His new partner is desperately obsess with him to the point when his dad is away for a whole week she will still claim his week. I am trying to be supportive and be happy for him when he talks about them and how much he misses them and let it go over my head but it builds up inside of me, it makes me sad and I already have a lot of anxiety naturally. He can be very emotional, he is very frustrated with the situation always being between the two households, he says when he is here he misses them and when he is there he misses us.Lots of emotional outburst, even for not finding his second sock in the morning, but its all underlying due to the situation. It causes a lot of tension. We are planning a holiday because its been a full on year - all we want to do is relax but I feel like we will have to deal with a lot of meltdowns. Should I be selfish for one time and go without him and focus on us, however I won't help to feel guilty as little one (9m) will be coming. My second son with my current partner. Anyone in similar situation please? I would like to bounce ideas with someone who's in the same boat!!!