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Clingy

Tasa83
Community Member

So I have this problem that I feel many have. I have been left by so many people because of my Bipolar that I have developed abandonment issues. Because of this I hold people at arms length and trust few. But when I meet someone I click with, someone I think gets me, I grab on tight and wont let go so as not to lose them like the others, however this results in them freaking out and leaving anyway.

ahhhh the irony!

anyone else?

14 Replies 14

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello everyone,

Tasha, I have never thought that bipolar had anything to with my friendships , maybe thats me.

I know when I was manic I hurt people and when depressed people I sent people away but I thought that was just me. I have only a few good friends but that is what I need. I do get sensitive when I feel I have offended someone.

This is a good thread with many ideas.

PBelle is right saying people come and go in our lives.

Quirky

Tasa83
Community Member
I agree with you, if they are a true friend they will return. I’m still waiting.

I’ve had many leave whenI got hospitalised.

Some friends loved me when I was manic and some couldn’t handle it but once I was in hospital noone wanted to be part of that.

when I am depressed I don’t want to go out so I am boring and get left behind.

But I think if I take pieces of everyone advice and learn that not every friendship is forever and just to enjoy them when you have them and let go when it’s time. No more clingy

Taypaz1616
Community Member

Oh I know this irony all too well.

I don’t go a day where I don’t constantly fear people leaving me which is why I put up a wall, and I do not trust anyone. When I say I have trust issues... it’s bad.

ive actually just recently been dumped and had my worst fear happen already. I didn’t think I’d make it. But I’m still here and getting through a little each day.

It is tough, and I do sympathize with you. It’s horrible feeling anxious everyday that your partner will leave you and us feeling this way makes us cling and lose them anyway... it’s a frustrating cycle I know.

but i believe with the right motivation and mindset you can re train your brain and face your fears through CBT therapy. I believe we are in control not our minds. We cannot let our thoughts and fears consume our lives.

Stay strong! And don’t give up! Your never alone!! There’s thousands of people who feel the same. And your not clingy. You just need the right person to show you the love and care and patience you need to feel safe and at ease.

If they truly care for you, no amount of clingy behavior shall push them away!

I read a great quote: the power in the relationship lies with the one who cares the least.

it is sad using the word power but still makes me feel like if I have a bit more control over myself and things I wouldn’t need to cling. I don’t want to cling. I just want someone to reply in a reasonable timeframe, not bail and if they want to leave say goodbye. Too much?

Tasa