Thanks Lachannie that's so nice of you.
I found it pretty hard to pluck up the courage to make this type of approach so to speak, and had to be very humble which is not my normal manner. But it worked amazingly and brought out many of her issues we had never discussed. The crucial thing is to be humble, 'own' some of the perceived problems she has with you, be totally supportive and be 100% empathetic.
Mid way through the meeting I had with my daughter it felt like a huge monkey was lifted from my shoulders.
I should say that you still have rights as her parent, so try and make that clear in a non combative manner.
All the very best! The Bro
Thanks so much Learn to Fly!
I admit it took some time to prepare what I wanted to say, and was quite difficult to keep the meeting calm, but by being as empathetic as I could, plus lots of supportive comments, it worked a treat in the end.
Much, much better than just letting things go on as they were.
Regards, The Bro
Anyhow, thanks again. Will definitely remember your post.
Thank you for reaching out and I'm sorry that you are going through a hard time. It is quite hurtful when someone you love and care for so dearly accuse you of something you didn't do. I think for your daughter, she may not realise or mean it due to her condition. I can tell that family is so important to you and that you care deeply about your daughter. I think when situations get heated, sometimes it is best to give the other person some time to cool off. Once she is in a better state and is ready to talk, then you can explain to her your side of the storey. I'm not sure if you tried to get someone else involved, like your daughter's partner if she has one or maybe if you can get a family member who can help with situation and resolve the issue. You are not to blame when things go wrong in your daughters life, try to be kind to yourself, you are doing the best that you can. We all make mistakes sometimes and all we can do is learn from them. Hope things get better for you.
Hi Lachannie i did not see your response until now
There have been some great suggestions above on how to contact her and I believe they are all good ideas
While giving her time can be good with BPD I find that the more time someone does not contact me the more strongly I feel abandoned and that they maybe don't care about me even when they do so I wouldn't wait for her to contact you first however you may wait some time for a response but you will get one eventually
I liked the post before by The BRO that mentioned calling her and leaving a message so she can hear her voice and then if you cant get a response sending a letter with all the details in there on owning what you have done, an apology and telling her how much you love and miss her, Also let her know you will always be there waiting for her no matter what
I hope this helps 🙂