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Am I being selfish?

Lostgirl94
Community Member
Im currently 40 weeks pregnant and asked my friend who I live with to come to my 40 week antenatal appointment the other day, things have been a bit tense since living together and I wanted to lighten the mood a bit however when I got called in she bought her 14month old into the appointment and I was basically chasing him around while she spoke to the midwife about her problems, I tried explaining to my partner that it was very frustrating and he told me I was being bitchy and selfish and she was a good friend so I should be nicer, am I right to feel this way I just want to cry I dont want to be a bad friend but I cant stand that she makes it all about her so much and my partner thinks its only because she doesnt have many friends, I just want a second opinion...
3 Replies 3

Jacko777
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Lostgirl94,

I'm not sure if you were being bitchy or selfish but I can understand if you felt emotional. Perhaps you can practice dropping emotion for a while, stay focused on being happy and positive and put your foot down when you have to. Next time you can let mum chase the 14 month old around. You can't control other people, you can only control your response to them so maybe you need a fresh plan to deal with this situation. 40 weeks pregnant hey, exciting times!! Stay focused on positive stuff that makes you happy and calm. Talk any time.

Jack

Fairywings
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi sweety ur definitely not being selfish in any way i think i need to detach from the emotional backdrop ur friend is provided u with coz really being 40w pregnant is not easy.  Don't worry about what others think they will always have something to yap on about so just let them yap don't take itb on board emotionally u have enough on ur plate so my point to u is just focus on u and u alone b and by doing this ur by no means being selfish just don't listen to all that negative small talk u don't need it. Venessa xxoo 😍 

pipsy
Community Member
Hi Lostgirl. I think, personally your so-called friend was the selfish one. You asked her to come for emotional support, she immediately expects you to watch her child while she talks to the midwife. You have every right to b**** about how you're feeling. I also feel your partner should be a bit more supportive at this time. It's his child too. Your next appointment, I would not say anything to your friend, just keep the appointment. I know you're nervous, but having that situation is not practical to be in. Is there anyone else you could ask? Who is your birthing partner, is it your partner (baby's father), if so he should be taking a more active role in this. I realise he probably works, but where possible, he needs to be involved. When you next see the midwife tell her how you're feeling about this appointment. The last thing you need is stress.