Advise, input, anything

lifesh4rd

I’m 29, hold three degrees, have a job and a business, and most importantly, I still live with my parents. I’ve supported them in every way possible, covering the mortgage, renovations , care giving and anything else they’ve needed.

In June last year I was in a motorcycle accident (drivers, please be careful around riders). I was riding because I was financially stretched and can't afford car for myself from supporting my family, and my dad had told me I could no longer borrow his car for work. Things have only gotten worse since the accident. I’ve been off work, and our finances are in a bad state. Dad is generally not happy with me being around since then

Tension in the house has escalated between my parents. This year I also lost my brother under unexpected circumstances. Now my parents want to separate and divorce, and they’re putting me in the middle of it. I’m emotionally drained and exhausted. My dad keeps repeating his usual line that I’m the cause of everything. I've built enough ground for the family from residence, wealth, etc

All of this is happening while I’m financially drained myself, and now my dad is asking me to get out during this difficult time. I’m emotionally drained and exhausted. Has anyone been through something similar?

Lana026

I’m really sorry you’re going through so much at once. Losing your brother, recovering from an accident, financial stress and then being caught in the middle of your parents’ separation sounds incredibly overwhelming.

It also sounds like you’ve spent a long time trying to support your family, so being blamed and asked to leave now must feel especially painful. You don’t have to carry your parents’ relationship problems on top of everything else you’re already dealing with.

I really hope you have someone outside the family you can lean on at the moment, even just one person who can listen without putting more pressure on you. Please be gentle with yourself, you’ve been through an enormous amount in a very short time.💛

Psychdiaries2

Hi there,

Thanks for your post and I'm sorry to hear about the difficult time you're going through right now. I know it must feel so exhausting and upsetting and it's not your fault. It's not your responsibility to handle everybody's problems and be expected to keep everything and everyone together. That's too much pressure and it's not fair.

I would recommend setting clear boundaries with your parents. Tell them no when you don't want to do something. You're a person too and don't deserve to be walked all over. It's unfair for them to expect you to be in the middle of their divorce. Do you have anyone at all who may be willing to let you stay with them for a bit while things simmer down?

You're more than welcome to keep reaching out here if you need to blow off any steam and we'll listen. Hope things get a little lighter soon.

Take care of yourself,

PsychDiaries