Yggy’s life with PTSD

[Guest_2350]

To all who knew me a couple of years ago, I apologise for not staying in touch and I hope you are staying safe and keeping well.

To everyone else, Hello.

I will write an introduction and update some time tonight or tomorrow.

Take care all, Yggy x

[Guest8901]

Hello to you too Yggy. I've only been around since December, so just on 6 months. I see you've got quite a few posts up, obviously from when you were here before. I guess to say welcome to BB would be wrong under the circumstances. Although welcome back is probably approprate.

I'm sorry that you have cause to return here, and so I'm interested to hear what brought you back after what appears like quite a long break. I responded to you because I too have PTSD and I always read threads related to PTSD. I'm trying to learn as much as I can about how people cope with it, becoming a bit of a sponge for information. I was only officially diagnosed early this year, although I have suffered the effects of it for many years.

I look forward to hearing further from you when you get to write more of an intro. Also an update on how you are now, and what you hope to gain from returning now. I'm happy to talk if you'd like to.

Amanda 💜

[White_Rose]

Hello Yggy

What a lovely surprise to see your post. You have been missed. How are you going?

So happy to see you again. I look forward to catching up with what is happening in your life.

Mary

[Guest_2350]

Hello Mary,

lovely to see you too! It's been a long time. How are you?

[Guest_2350]

Hello all,

I cannot remember when I last posted here, I guess about two years ago.

I have PTSD, anxiety and depression from CSA, civil war and unresolved grief. In the first year when I opened up to professionals I struggled with unsuitable psychologists and psychiatrists, who made my condition worse and re-traumatised me. Now I have a great team of professionals working with me and looking after me, but it is hard, really hard. I still get lost and confused, it is a different lost and confused now, but just as frightening, sometimes even more. I had multiple admissions, was made to resign from my job and have lost my mojo for exercise. On the positive I have started being creative, colouring in, painting, writing and in general giving anything arty-crafty a go. It's difficult to find a routine after my life has been tipped upside down. But I'm still here, gone through some very dark times and continue to struggle with bad thoughts.

Take care, yggy x

[Guest_2350]

Hi Amanda,

thank you for the welcome back 🙂 and nice to meet you. It is good to learn about symptoms and illness and share our stories. I don't remember why I left and don't really know why I came back at this point in time. I miss my friends here. Since my first admission I have isolated myself from the outside world. I don't have social media and contacts on my phone are only 20 or so. I've cut contact with all my family, all friends and acquaintances from the past. I have done a thorough clean up in the past 2 years. And was stuck in my own head. I am trying to be more social again 🙂

[White_Rose]

Hello Yggy

Wow! What a journey but you are still standing which is great. Not being on social media is not a bad thing. I have a FB account but only so I can keep up with my family's activities. Does that sound like stalking? I hope not. 😂

Like most of us I have had my ups and downs. Unfortunately a couple of the downs have been bad but like you I am still standing. My GP left the practice which was hard for me. I had been going to her for 15-16 years which meant she knew all about me. I find it difficult to have new medical people and although I now go to a different GP we, or rather I, have not settled in yet. I hate having to explain again those past bits of me that the other GP knew about.

I have returned to my embroidery which gives me satisfaction and time out from all the 'stuff' life throws at us. The wolf picture is my work. There's actually more of it but I had to reduce the size to make it fit on BB.

I am so pleased you have found a good team of MH professionals. I guess the right team means those people you can relate to and who you feel understand your difficulties. Others have great rapport with different people so it's hard move from one to another when both are considered good practitioners. I believe there should be more emphasis on a good fit.

Mary

[Guest_2350]

Wow Mary,

I love the embroidery, the wolves look great!!!

im a bit off at the moment, I will write more soon x

[Guest_2350]

Hi Mary & All,

I can understand your pain with your GP leaving. Especially after so many years. Do you only have a GP to help you?

I think it is not only important to have the right people to help, the good fit, but also flexibility in approach. I am not really sure what I'm doing, combination of psychodynamic, dbt, schema, and it's really hard and incredibly expensive. I wish that medicare would fund this, because I know I am lucky to have access, but many people cannot afford or even access the treatment due to availability. I know I would not be here anymore, if I didn't have the support.

Your FB activities don't seem like stalking, isn't that why people post all their happy snappy moments in life, so everyone can see? I don't want to see my family and I struggle with the whole 'like' business. And if people don't react to one of my posts, not that I had many friends that could react. So I do the old fashioned phone & meet people and the 'new' sms. I'm not old, but I only got a mobile & email account in my 20s, so I still remember how to talk and the phone and say, we are meeting at such and such time at such and such place and just turn up. Not that I'm really meeting many people, I have to work on that.

[Guest8901]

Hi Yggy,

Sorry to read that you were feeling a bit off when you last posted. Hopefully you're feeling better by now?

Its nice to hear that you have friends here from when you were here before. I know people come and go, but hopefully you still have some of your old friends around. Looks like you knew Mary, so thats a good start.

I note your mention of CSA, Civil War and unresolved grief. Having gone through civil war indicates that you come from another country. Are you aware of the Multicultural Section here on the forums. I think its fairly new, so its likely a new addition since you were here before. It may interest you to have a browse of some of the threads contained there. It covers all sorts of issues, some similar to your own experiences.

You say you have isolated yourself recently, including from family, friends and acquantances. Never good of course, but I totally understand the reluctance to engage in the social media side of things. I'm sorry you have felt the need to cut yourself off from family. Is that related to the CSA? If so, yeah, understandable. At least you are now trying to break out of your self imposed bubble and get out into the real world again and to be a little more social. Dont push things too hard, it wont be easy. But I guess coming back here, is a decent start. It indicates desire and determination at least.

Do you work at all? Do you have a partner, children perhaps? You havent said anything about immediate family. How about pets? Dogs are great as a social stimuli I find. When walking them you are bound to come across people who will want to talk to you about your dog. Good ice breakers and a chance to talk about 'safe' topics without any pressure.

Looks as though you are happy with your current mental health team. Pity you had to go through a bunch of crocks in order to get where you are though, as it sounds like quite a traumatic process for you. Can I ask if you have undergone any particular therapy which has worked for you? The reason I ask is because my clinical psych has mentioned a number of different therapies, some of which she would like to try with me. But I dont know much about them, so I am interested to hear what you've tried and what worked for you.

Good to hear you are doing all the arty/crafty things. If nothing else, it is a great distraction. I'm starting to do some art, and write a bit of unpublishable poetry.

I hope to hear from you again. In the meantime, keep well and stay safe.

Amanda