We have DID and I’m seeing images that scare me.

[Naptime]

We have DID can I still write here?
I don’t know how much sense this will make, so I’d better say sorry now.

The last few weeks I have been seeing pictures in my head, but not in a way that I see the event from start to finish. It is just like a flick of an event, then there is another flick of a different one. More like flicking through a photo album than watching a movie, I guess. Sometimes what I see is a couple of seconds, but it’s usually just a moment in time.

It does help if I can describe the picture to our doc. I have told him about a couple of them. Not the actual bad stuff, I can’t remember a lot of the details. Things like talking about the room in detail, or the ground I am sitting on - that sort of stuff. And if I do that, that snapshot fades - but it’s replaced by another one.

I probably should say we were diagnosed with DID quite a few years ago and I’m not the original, the one born into the body. And unfortunately my fear at what I see ‘bleeds’ through to some others in our system and they feel the fear but don’t always know why. That makes me feel so guilty.

It has been happening for a few weeks now and I am so tired of it. I am tired of being scared. I hate what I see so much. I just want it to stop. How do I stop it?

Thank you for listening.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Naptime, welcome to the Beyond Blue forum and thank you for having the courage to reach out this afternoon. We know this isnt always an easy thing to do. We can imagine it would be very unsettling to have these images come into your mind and we're sorry to hear how tired and scared you've been feeling.  Can we ask if you are receiving mental health support? Please do feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if this is something you feel would be beneficial. You might also find it helpful to read through the following webpages for advice on where to seek help and treatment for DID:

• Dissociation
• Dissociative identity disorder
• Dissociative identity disorder (DID)

We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.

 

[Naptime]

Thank you for reaching out, it helps to know I am not totally alone. We have reached out before to mental health people but often they don’t understand about us and they sometimes think we are making it all up.

We do have a doc that we see twice a week, and he is real nice. But being a multiple we have to split the time so I personally don’t get a lot of the session with him. I know the others here have been trying to give me as much as possible in sessions - but it still isn’t much. That sounds greedy of me, I know we have to share. But sometimes it is so hard.

Thank you for the links, I will have a look at them. I know I’m not the original, but I still get confused about well, us. I guess that doesn’t make sense.