Struggling

[MilliHub]

Hi

I am 24 and 10 years ago I was groomed and sexually abused by a student teacher at my school for almost 2 years. Afterwards I was raped by a boy from my college who was supposed to be my friend. I never told anyone until a few months ago when out of the blue I was triggered. I've been struggling with feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, grief and heartache ever since. I don't enjoy the things that I used to enjoy and I've lost touch with friends and family members. It hurts to say, but I feel jealous of them because of the success and vitality that they seem to have, which I've never been able to create for myself. As much as I've tried to lead a full life, over the last 10 years I've gone through patterns, usually in winter, of falling into depressions where I've been unable to look after myself, maintain jobs, friendships and housing. But every time I've fallen I've always picked myself up. However this time things feel very different. I'm seeing a psychologist who is helping me learn emotional intelligence so that I can control my anxiety. I'm also trying to look after my diet and I'm trying to get exercise, vitamin d and 7=8 hours of sleep everyday. But, despite everything, I still feel like I'm alone and I don't know how to live my life.

I want to know how others have coped in similar situations? Could you share advice or wisdom for me?

[RegVeg]

Hi and am sorry you are not in a happy place in life yet

Definitely you are not alone in that many people feel that way. Its hard to cope without close support from people you trust in your life.

I'm 69 and am feeling more confident about myself than I did at your age. Although I'm not sure I made all the best decisions along the way I have regrets but can't change what happened.

you will find your way and your strength gradually I'm sure. Great you are taking care of your physical health. I'm vegan and do yoga Zumba and gym workouts some time swim too. Sleeping well is important and finding fun things to do. I love art theatre books animals etc.. Keeps me going in past I had destructive addictions and negative thoughts.

do you read. .i find it is the best escape into another's world and a wonderful sanctuary from one's own when you need one.

You can still shape your future but the past is what it is. .

Vida