Struggling with sexual assault

[Miley777]

About a month ago I was assaulted by someone I knew. I was intoxicated and play fighting with him. He became quite aggressive. I struggle to remember exactly what happened due to the amount I drank, this happened in-front of other people also. I was so upset I left and went home. The next day I was covered in bruises. I’ve had to have physiotherapy. I’m struggling to even label this as sexual assault and I work in family violence. I feel like I should have known better and continue to minimise the situation. I am getting support but feel unstable emotionally due to the ups and downs. When I feel happy or forget about the assault I ask myself why would I feel happy after being assaulted. Working in family violence is a huge distraction focusing on other people, however I’m worried it’s making things worse for me. I haven’t had any time off and caught myself saying today I wish I would get sick and land in hospital so I can have a break. Knowing this is me wanting to escape. Can anyone else relate ? 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Miley776,

We would like to thank you for finding the courage to post your story here. Someone in our wonderfully supportive community should respond soon.

We wanted to encourage your understanding that sexual assault is never ok, even when it is disguised in play fighting. What occurred is not your fault. In all situations, we must always treat each other with respect.

We know how important it is to be able to talk freely about your experiences, so please reach out through one of the options below if you'd prefer a confidential discussion with a counsellor.

For counselling and information for anyone affected by family and sexual violence, we’d recommend reaching out to our friends at 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732, or online: https://www.1800respect.org.au/

They will be able to provide a safe space to share your experiences and offer any support you may need, and they can also connect you with local agencies for practical support, if that’s helpful.

You are of course welcome to call our Support Service at any time on 1300 22 4636 or online: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor

Thanks again for sharing here. We're so sorry this has happened, but we're glad you could share here.

Kind regards,   

Sophie_M