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Reoccuring PTSD??
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Hi all,
In 2015 i was living in a ground floor apartment. This particular night i had taken a sleeping tablet as I had been struggling to sleep at that time. I was woken up at 2am to the balcony glass doors being smashed in my bedroom.
A young man had thrown a huge concrete paver through my window and it bounced off my bed. It was lucky i was sleeping on the other side. He came in and was screaming at me. I was screaming back. The event happened in only about 5 minutes but was obviously terrifying.
Alot happened and ended with 7 police coming through my bedroom and pinning the guy to the floor. He was on ICE. The police were patrolling and heard my screams (lucky I'm loud).
Anyway, i had really bad PTSD for a long time after that. Scared of my own shadow. I thought I had been ok for the past 5 years or so.
However, my PTSD has been triggered. There have been a few murders around my local area recently. There's also a guy at work who i find terrifying. He has a stalkerish vibe. He would constantly message me after hours and stares at me alot. It freaks me out. All of this has really triggered me. I freak out walking through the basement of my unit block to go to my car.
I didn't order Uber eats the other night knowing I'd have to go downstairs in the dark to meet the driver. I don't like to walk to and from places alone.
Any tips on how to heal from this would be greatly appreciated.
Kate
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Dear Kate
That was a frightening experience you went through and it’s really understandable that certain things would activate the PTSD symptoms again. Have you had any psychological support along the way? If you don’t currently have a psychologist you could try looking for one who is trauma-informed and seems like a good fit for you. You may be aware already that you can get a referral from a GP in order to get a Medicare rebate for 10 sessions.
There are a few approaches for PTSD. EMDR is one that is known to have a good evidence base. I have done a method called Somatic Experiencing which worked very well for me in processing specific traumatic incidents. If you wanted to learn about this method, the founder of it, Peter Levine, has a book called “In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness”. He noticed how well animals recover in the wild from frequent traumatic encounters (e.g. being preyed upon by other animals) without getting stuck in trauma the way humans often do. It’s a bottom-up approach starting with bodily responses, tapping into the body’s natural trauma recovery response in a gentle, titrated way, while maintaining what he calls islands of safety - feelings of safety you can access anytime in the process.
I mention this because it’s what I know but it may or may not be the right thing for you. The most important thing is finding what connects with you and also a practitioner you connect with if you do some form of therapy. I eventually found a really good psychologist through my own researching on the internet.
I tried something else called TRE (Trauma Releasing Exercises) a while ago and that was quite helpful too. It was developed by a guy named David Berceli with PTSD recovery being one of the key aims of the method. There is a lot out there right now, even trauma-informed yoga. There are also more cognitive approaches such as trauma-focussed CBT. While I’ve responded best to methods that begin at a body level, some people do well with methods that start with cognition.
Hopefully others may have some suggestions. I feel for you right now dealing with those fears. Ideally you want your home to feel like a safe sanctuary where you can relax and be able to go through life peacefully.
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Hi Kate,
What a terrifying experience, it is definitely understandable that you have triggered your PTSD. I would recommend speaking to a counsellor of psychologist if possible to support you.
In regards to the guy at work, do you respond to his messages? Have you tried having a gentle chat to him, or is there someone else at work that you could speak to about it to gain their perspective? Are other people feeling uncomfortable around him too?
Is is possible to get a friend/housemate so that you feel more comfortable? A friend of mine went through something similar and it really helped her knowing that someone else was in the house.
Thinking of you and hope things improve
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Thank you for your responses. I had a huge cry today to my boss about it all.
I do have a therapist. We kind of got into the trauma in my last session a few weeks ago, but not too much as it kind of escalated after my appointment. My next appointment is in a few weeks.
Thank you for your suggestions Eagle Ray, I will definetley look into them.
It's weird because I don't remember being this bad after the incident. Maybe I was but i can't remember.
Lauren, no i don't respond to his messages anymore so I kind of think he got the hint. He has this real creeper vibe. There's something not quite right about him. I don't like to be alone in rooms with him. I did report him to HR but not alot has happened as yet.
As for a room mate, not something i'm too keen on right now. I'm set in my ways and a little anxious to have anyone live with me.
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Hi Kate,
Yes, sometimes it does feel worse a long time after the incident, doesn’t it. I think often the way the brain processes and stores things at the time, it kind of protects us to some extent then, often by keeping us kind of dissociated from the memories. Then, it can be years later, it gets re-activated but feels worse.
According to the trauma approach and work I did, the body has often got trapped in freeze. On its way back to equilibrium it passes through the fight-or-flight response on its way back to the rest-and-digest parasympathetic state. But with PTSD it can get stuck back and forth between freeze and fight-or-flight, kind of trapped in that cycle. The somatic work I did allowed me to pass all the way through from freeze to fight-or-flight back to safety and equilibrium. But it can feel a bit dramatic coming through fight-or-flight on the way back, and that’s where having a safe holding environment with a good psych can really help. The body kind of naturally recalibrates knowing it is now safe. Co-regulation with a safe supportive person seems to play a key role in this.
I’m glad the guy with the creepy vibe seems to have gotten the hint. I hope you can find some good distractions that help you to feel safe. Focusing on things you enjoy doing at home might help. You can also call a friend or family member you trust and feel comfortable with. Sometimes just talking with someone can makes things feel more normal and be calming and comforting.
I hope you feel better soon.
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I have an update. The creeper guy from work was arrested for unrelated crimes and then he got fired. He's no longer in my life. It's been a wonderful end to the year!
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Hello Dear Kate,
That is wonderful news…I am so happy that you will be able to move forward in your life, without the fear of this creeper guy…
How have you been doing…
Kind thoughts Dear Kate,
Grandy..
Grandy..
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Dear Kate,
That’s wonderful. Your instincts were correct and it’s good he is out of your workplace and life. I’m so glad you can end the year with peace and ease.
Take care and wishing you a wonderful 2024!