Hi Jessie,
Welcome to the forums, I am so glad you reached out to us.
I am very sorry you have been through such a terrible ordeal, no one should have to go through that. And by someone you called a friend no less. I hope you are coping as best you can.
We really do find out who our true friends are when we go through a major life event, I am sorry you have not been supported by a lot of them. Are you getting any support from those who are left, or from family? Also wondering if you have been able to get some counselling to help you get through this.
It's not at all surprising that you would want to leave, is that an option for you? Do you have any family or friends in another location you could stay with for a while?
Please let me know what you most need and in what way I can support you.
I am sorry you have had to wait a couple of days for a reply, this time of year their are a lot of posts. I will get a notification if you reply to this post and will get back to you as soon as possible.
Be kind and gentle with yourself,
indigo 💜
