Hi Caz,
I must say, I know how bad it feels to wake up in the middle of fighting of those demons in our nightmares. I too did the same thing to my partner early on in our relationship. I too have had PTSD (due to a traumatic childhood) and depression anxiety. My partner and I have been together about 4 or 5 weeks and I woke up harming him. I felt so bad. He, however, was great about it. Luckily I had 'warned' him prior that I am prone to nightmares and that my PTSD was much more severe when I was younger, but I did/do still have the odd bout of it here and there.
I hope that you are getting some counseling? if not, then now may be a great time to start, yeah?
I had lots of counseling and it has helped tremendously. Our brains are very complex machines, and sometimes things happen that makes our thinking/processes go a bit skewiff. And so, just like when we get a head cold and get medication for it, so too, does our brain need treatment. Maybe through a combination of counseling and other treatments.
Anyway, I hope you start to feel better soon.
