Ill-Health Retired and Feeling Pretty Alone

[CoffeeSnob]

So I recently retired from VicPol due to PTSD and now trying to get used to this new life. I'm struggling. Like many before me, I was pushed out by my managers and tried too long to hang on to a job that didn't want me. I gave 25 years, working with many different people over the years, some of whom I considered to be my friends. Only one person from work has been in touch since I left, which has been really tough. Would love to hear from anyone else out there in a similar situation.    

[Leisa68]

Hi CoffeeSnob,

Welcome to the forums! Thank you for sharing your story here. I worked as a nurse for 35 years and have had to retire due to BiPolar and other ailments. I was bullied at work, which is prolific in nursing, and got to the point where I could not get out of the car for work to be totally scared. I finished work in 2020 and have spent almost the past two years feeling guilty about my situation. I have really struggled also with the guilt, the anger at the bully, and the sadness that I could not continue with what I was doing. I didn't love nursing, but it gave me work and independence.

Since 2020 I have been under the care of a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist and slowly but surely am starting to see through the fog that is my head. I applied for Disability (no mean feat) from Centrelink and I am doing everything the doctors tell me.

Policework is extremely stressful I can imagine and I am sorry that no one has contacted you for support. Nobody contacted me either. All I can really say is it takes time, and make sure you reach out for any olive branch that is offered to you. Take care of yourself.

Leisa68

[ecomama]

Hey CoffeeSnob - funny name lol and what's this with everyone loving Lisa Simpson all of a sudden? hahaha... 

Now the fun stuff is over.... firstly I want to say a heartfelt thankyou for your service to our communities over 25 years, WOW! I am SO GLAD you made it through. Thankyou! 

It is such a crappy situation when you've had such a long career that's demanded SO MUCH from your life, your focus, your mental energy, your physical energy! And then poof it's gone. 

I'm so sorry you're struggling atm. PTSD is a thang! Do you have a professional MH support person to guide you through at this time? Don't answer unless you're comfortable doing so 🙂

I've had a long career too, years ago I had to have 6+ months off work. I learnt pretty abruptly that no one kept in touch much and I was quite surprised. (Then I realised it was a work culture thing and felt a little better but still..). So I'm pretty much firm in the realisation that those work colleagues are just that, "colleagues"... not "friends". Blunt discernment but worth realising. Now I DO contact those I like when they're off sick for long periods and they say the same thing! 

Anyhow, I wanted to say that once you get your bearings there are SO MANY ways you can become more linked in with the community around you. Your knowledge and skills would be so sought after in probably ANY volunteer capacity if you felt so inclined. 

These are the things I'm looking forward to getting involved with later on: 
* the local Wood Turner's Society
* ALL Local Community Gardens 
* the Permaculture group
* volunteering at my grandchildren's schools, maybe in the canteen, CERTAINLY in the gardens lol and even helping with reading and Art lessons, can't wait! 
* my Church's Food Pantry

* the local Soup Kitchen and there'll be more. 
No Men's Shed open for me, I'm a woman... hmmm. 

Hope you pop back in and let us all know how you're doing! 

EM

[Croix]

Dear Coffeesnob~

Welcome back, it has been a while. If I remember correctly you found the psych who had been dealing with you was not interested or able (to be kind) to resume treatment. That's something that  flavors all future medical contact -or so I've found.Take a long time ot trust, but now I've been lucky.

I was invalided out of a Force the same as you, hanging on for too long and being discarded.

Trying to become a member of the public is a huge task.

Thinking is had to change. I was basically still a MOTF in thought for many years. It's not really surprising as it's a total way of life.

Friends too evaporated, maybe the felt uncomfortable, maybe they felt contamination in the eyes of admin by association- who knows.

So you end up wiht no identity, no purpose, no framework to life , no authority and at the same time have to try to deal wiht all the symptoms of suicdality (in my case anyway) PTSD, depression and probably anxiety too.

I gave my wife a hard time and eventually she got sick of this bad tempered unpredictable negative person hanging around the house and told me to do a course of study, at the local uni. It worked for  me, no longer isolated, a new identity and purpose and structure. Not easy, not quick but it worked and I got a job out of it.

Now I'm not saying study would help you, we are all different, however getting something that gives those precious things:  no longer isolated, a new identity and purpose and structure. After being a MOTF  for 25 years you will have the investigative ability to find something.

I was not big on joining the former members associations for an awful lot of years as this simply highlighted loss. I'd suggest staying away from any occupation that raises those memories all the time.

I do think you may have been premature in dispensing wiht your psych's services. I've been seeing a psychiatrist regularly for more years than I care to remember and am still on meds, though I'd have to say I've recovered to the point life is good, and the symptoms manageable.

Hope to hear more from you

Croix

[Croix]

Dear CoffeeSnob~

It has been a while since you posted and l'm wondering how you are getting on.

As you would be a well aware these matters do not sort themselves out out  quickly and I"m more or less in the same boat, though I've had it a  longer to deal with it than than you

So if you would like to keep up the  conversation maybe you wil find something of use. I know the forum might not be the ideal place but you  might be surprised at the depth of experience here.

I do hope so as I would not wish my experiences on anyone

Croix