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PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Apricit123 Flashbacks and dissociation
  • replies: 3

Hi I been getting flashbacks for about a month now and they seem to be getting worse, and on top off that they changed the brand of my medication so it's an added stressor I keep thinking the medication is making me worse my brain feels like it is in... View more

Hi I been getting flashbacks for about a month now and they seem to be getting worse, and on top off that they changed the brand of my medication so it's an added stressor I keep thinking the medication is making me worse my brain feels like it is in overload and i cant relax. In the Last month it feels like a nightmare and nothing feels real how do you usally cope with flashbacks???

Sharda Marriage
  • replies: 4

Hello everyone. My name is Sharda, my hometown is Fiji Island. I've been living in Australia for last 12years. I met my husband at a friend's wedding. Hez from India. We started chatting since the. He some how convinced me that hez a very nice honest... View more

Hello everyone. My name is Sharda, my hometown is Fiji Island. I've been living in Australia for last 12years. I met my husband at a friend's wedding. Hez from India. We started chatting since the. He some how convinced me that hez a very nice honest guy. Only because hez visa was about to expire and he didn't wanted to back India. So he made fall in love with him and we got married. Now after 5years he got hez residency, he wants to go india and marry hez girlfriend. He always fights with me, im a epileptic also got migraine. He just wants divorce from me. We have no kids. I'm so helpless. My family is back home. My husband say dirty things to me and that girl calls and they both torture me. I don't know what to do, I'm so depressed and stressed out.

Mum Chris I am back
  • replies: 250

Hi, I am starting back on treatment for ComlexPTSD. I thought last year was bad but this year just got worse. I was dealing with a child that was agressive and intimidated and scared me so much. My husband wanted him out of the house but I refused to... View more

Hi, I am starting back on treatment for ComlexPTSD. I thought last year was bad but this year just got worse. I was dealing with a child that was agressive and intimidated and scared me so much. My husband wanted him out of the house but I refused to do it. A mum doesn't turn her back on her children. Well I couldn't fix it and the Police got involved and it was so bad so so bad. I feel like I failed everyone and now i am dealing with the loss and grief involved with untreated mental illness and my child refused to go to a facility so was locked up in jail and may go to prison for a long time.The sadness got so bad I ended up in hospital and I speak to a counsellor and will see a trauma specialist soon. I wanted to go to emergnecy and just get into hospital for mental health treatment but I work and my husband doesn't want to be left alone. I still might but i am trying to get outpatient care set up so I can get free from this sadness. I have all the classic PTSD triggers, loud noises, intrusive thoughts bad sleep nightmares and physically i am not doing great. I am down a dark invisible hole and people around me can't see it and when i try to explain it i cry and can't talk. That's one of the things that happened to me when the initmidation got very scary i lost my voice i would lan to spewak up and say NO but I just stuttered and fumbled and froze. I can't believe i was ready to leave my husband so I didn't have to face standing up to my son. This is how I feel - I had 1 job and that was to raise a healthy happy child and I failed. I have enrolled in a physical rehab to get some fitness back and I watch funny shows to get my laughter back. My counsellor said yesterday to pick my grief up off my pillow and stick it in a cupboard and shut the door and say not today Grief you can just stay there today I am going to be free of you. She also says he had choices to make and he chose to act that way and to do those things I am really not that great and I am pretending to be OK. I smile at people and sort am able to work but i can't wash a dish or cook a meal its a huge task now. Anyone sorry for the downer I am just trying to be honest.

Mel_72 Home invasion
  • replies: 12

At 2am sunday morning, someone broke into my home. I panicked and started screaming. They ran and i called the police. Police attended. They have 1 person in custody, pending court, and i dont think they are even looking for the 2nd... Anyway, here w... View more

At 2am sunday morning, someone broke into my home. I panicked and started screaming. They ran and i called the police. Police attended. They have 1 person in custody, pending court, and i dont think they are even looking for the 2nd... Anyway, here we are a few days after the event, not sleeping properly, jumping at every sound, hypervigilant, unable to face going to work as MH nurse, struggling to get started with any of the jobs around the house. I feel like i cant even get enough air into my lungs. Im exhausted. I cry at nothing. Have spent a small fortune on cameras and extra locks and chains for around the house. I know all the the things to do- eat well, sleep, exercise, talk to people, but it doesnt seem to help yet. I hate that this person has made me feel like this. Im usually strong and independent and can manage most things. I know this person is a career criminal, and magistrates keep granting bail. I have no idea if him or his mates will come back and try again. I keep thinking, what if they were already inside when i woke up. (I know i should flip this thought to im glad i woke up when i did and scared them off.. easier said than done. Not sure if i want advice or what from here, hopefully just writing it out will help me move on

laureah21 Hyper awareness
  • replies: 4

Recently I lost my dog suddenly to cancer and two weeks later my second dog has been diagnosed and undergoing chemo. My husband is not coping as has no work either at the moment. He has a little bit of ocd and depression normally so these have flared... View more

Recently I lost my dog suddenly to cancer and two weeks later my second dog has been diagnosed and undergoing chemo. My husband is not coping as has no work either at the moment. He has a little bit of ocd and depression normally so these have flared up and im trying to help him and make decisions and grieve all at once. I’ve gone into a weird numb action mode and today something really strange happened. That was the opposite of numb. Id like to know if anyone has had this after trauma. I know my trauma is nothing compared to many people but I feel the symptoms are linked to everything happening. i was in the supermarket and it was as if everything was turned up to maximum. Maximum detail, sound and colour. I could see every single piece of wording on the food packaging all the pictures in the labels, all coming in at once all the colours rushing in. I felt like I was going to pass out, so had to cover my eyes by looking down at the white floor and walk this way to the till and get out quick. such a strange sensation. Bit scared of it happening again in busy places

I_want_my_life_back A decade long trauma
  • replies: 3

Hi all. Firstly, I don't know if I have PTSD or something else going on, but for the past decade we have been involved in a traumatic and ongoing family court battle that just never seems to end despite it going in our favour. I won't list everything... View more

Hi all. Firstly, I don't know if I have PTSD or something else going on, but for the past decade we have been involved in a traumatic and ongoing family court battle that just never seems to end despite it going in our favour. I won't list everything here, but it has taken a massive toll on me personally, so much so that I can physically feel the stress, if that makes sense. I am constantly waiting for the next nightmare to start - and it usually isn't very long between each nightmare. In other words, I feel like I am on high alert all of the time. It has taken a toll on my relationship, my life and my well-being. Anyway, today I decided enough was enough. I want my life back. I am not sure where to start but it is a big deal for me to even admit that all is not right with me. I am told (alot) that I am strong, and people literally say "I don't know how you keep going". Honestly, I can't keep going anymore, at least not feeling like this. I need some coping mechanisms as this nightmare, in all reality, will probably keep going for years. And that is the hardest part - I can't just run away.

Kayak Nursing and PTSD
  • replies: 3

Im now 60 and I loved my career as a RN and Midwife through all the hard times and good times but it all came to a screaming end the evening I got stood down as of immediately and told to leave the hospital and I would be told the reason why the next... View more

Im now 60 and I loved my career as a RN and Midwife through all the hard times and good times but it all came to a screaming end the evening I got stood down as of immediately and told to leave the hospital and I would be told the reason why the next day. I wasn't told and a week later I was told (that it had been assumed by heresy and conjection )that I had offered euthanasia to a terminally ill patient .I was totally overwhelmed and shocked by this accustion and in hindsight had a cardiac event . Over 6 months of investigation this was found unsubstantiated and I was told I could now go back to work as before. I did return to work with high anxiety but rumours and gossip ran high and I was told I could not say anything ,even that my name had been cleared as I would breach confidentiality regulations set by NSW health. Finally after being victimising and stigmatised by management I went down the workers compensation pathway and to make a long story short after another 2 years and involving Barristers and lawyers I won my case and received a WID payout. I was experiencing PTSD ,anxiety and depression. It was a long haul climbing out of that hole and I was grieving at the same time for the loss of my life as a nurse ,financial insecurity ,isolation from colleagues,feelings of judgement and helplessness and having no control over my life . During this time my pyschologist introduced my to "tapping" or EFT( emotional freedom technique )and it has been one of the most useful tools during this time frame .Just google it .Brad Yates utube clips are a good place to start .We can process what happens as much as we like with our frontal lobes but this" tapping " works on the amygala and hipocampus the areas in our brain that control fight or fright ..fear . My post today is to say along with mindfulness,staying grounded,journal work and a trauma course (TRTP )tapping has given me huge relief and has helped with improving sleep and decreasing nightmares,inactivating fear responses and increasing self esteem . Other things that have helped are my wonderful husband ,long term loyal friends ,my gorgeous daughter and not giving into the abyss of depression .I have slowly re-engaged with society and am content with gardening ,swimming and seeing beautiful parts of our world .A simple life where I can rest and focus on the journey of recovery is my day to day goal now .

DaffyDuck_ Idk if this is SA.
  • replies: 4

When I was 5, I started going to school and there was this boy in my class who always tried to hug, kiss me, and also grab me, mostly my arse. Once he tried to grab and kiss me again but I ran away from him so he ran after me and followed me but I hi... View more

When I was 5, I started going to school and there was this boy in my class who always tried to hug, kiss me, and also grab me, mostly my arse. Once he tried to grab and kiss me again but I ran away from him so he ran after me and followed me but I hid until the bell rang. I always told him to go away and to stop but he never did. Another time was when I was against a pole sitting down with my friends and he came up to me and put his legs either side of me and started thrusting in my face while he was standing, I pushed him away and told the teacher but he only rlly got a slap on the wrist. He did this I think from when I was like 5/6 - 9, but I don't know if this counts as sexual assault since he didn't really do anything extreme like rape and never actually kissed me (BC I shoved him off me before he ever could). And we were both so young and maybe he didn't know any better. Plus if it was sexual assault then I probably should've hated him but I didn't. I don't know the difference between sexual assault and sexual harrassment so I just like think that what he did wasn't that bad.

Sisko_H Dissociations
  • replies: 5

Hi. Just joined the community in hope to share and feel understanding. I'm a backpacker from EU. Been away almost 2 years now. Last session with my therapist feels like ages away. In general these years have been really good for my mental health but ... View more

Hi. Just joined the community in hope to share and feel understanding. I'm a backpacker from EU. Been away almost 2 years now. Last session with my therapist feels like ages away. In general these years have been really good for my mental health but recently my dissociations and anxiety has been acting up in new ways that can be very stressfull. Haven't really been sleeping well and my partner has started to worry about me, which makes me even more anxious. I keep switching personas at weird times and getting impulsive movements like damaging the wall or hurting myself. Also there has been more of those "can't get up from the bed" days. Starting to think that maybe I should look up some help but don't really have any idea where to start and not much money. I think all (or a big part why) this is happening is because I just miss home...

JustSteph Suicidal ideation
  • replies: 1

I have PTSD due to domestic violence. It has been about a year since I left and there have been a lot of ups and downs. Recently I have gone back to work and one of my children is having a tough time adjusting to being in childcare and not with me fu... View more

I have PTSD due to domestic violence. It has been about a year since I left and there have been a lot of ups and downs. Recently I have gone back to work and one of my children is having a tough time adjusting to being in childcare and not with me full time. I know there have been a lot of changes in their life but I have no other option but to work. The stress of daily tantrums at drop offs and then having to go straight from there to work has lead me to breaking down into tears most mornings and I find myself constantly thinking about whether it would be better for everyone if I weren’t around. I’m not actually suicidal, I wouldn’t do it, but I find myself thinking about it regularly. My ex keeps reminding me that the kids wouldn’t have to be in childcare if it weren’t for me choosing to leave the relationship and I can’t help but think about how I have ruined everything for everyone by leaving. The financial stress, the feeling that I am doing everything wrong, and the exhaustion from having to do everything every day has me constantly thinking about giving up and just not being here anymore. I don’t want to tell my therapist because I had been doing so well before starting work and I don’t want to disappoint anyone by admitting how I am feeling. I enjoy working and I need the money but I struggle with letting down my children by not being there for them every day. I am a constant disappointment and a failure at everything I am doing. I just needed a space to admit this because I can’t say it to anyone I know.