PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

All discussions

TJR nightmares and panic attacks
  • replies: 10

hey, i suffer from depression, anxiety and PTSD. last night I had a nightmare and while i was asleep i had a panic attack. this nightmare felt so real, i had to force myself to wake up just because of the panic attack i was having while asleep, i am ... View more

hey, i suffer from depression, anxiety and PTSD. last night I had a nightmare and while i was asleep i had a panic attack. this nightmare felt so real, i had to force myself to wake up just because of the panic attack i was having while asleep, i am pretty sure i was also shaking a little but i can't quite remember? is this something i should bring up to my psychologist? i am pretty terrified to go back to sleep in case it happens again.

cady2015 Career change
  • replies: 2

Hi all.I hope you’re reading this and feeling well.I work in an intense industry (mental health). Intense for me, anyway. I consider myself a highly sensitive person. I live with PTSD and anxiety is prominent. I have struggled somewhat for years. Alw... View more

Hi all.I hope you’re reading this and feeling well.I work in an intense industry (mental health). Intense for me, anyway. I consider myself a highly sensitive person. I live with PTSD and anxiety is prominent. I have struggled somewhat for years. Always get told I’m burnt-out but not quite meeting the criteria because I’m still meeting all my job requirements. I get told I’m doing “too well” to be considered burnt-out. Or that I’m thriving under pressure. But internally, I feel like I’m crumbling. The Sunday Scaries are getting really intense. I am really stressed getting ready for my day. And really drained at the end. I do “do well”, as they say. No one would ever, ever know.I am also a creative and recently got offered a work from home role in this area. Completely out of the blue. Certainly not as “rewarding” and definitely not what I went to uni for.But I’m starting to think that living with PTSD, working in an intense role and juggling other responsibilities is a bit much. My employer is super, super supportive.My issue is that because they are so supportive, I feel like I’m letting them down. I also compare myself to others. They can do it. Why can’t I? I feel like I’m running away. All my mental health training is screaming “this is avoidance!” And yet, if a client came to me with this predicament, I’d support them to explore that it’s okay to slow down.I know the grass isn’t always greener. But working from home sounds idyllic. I’m a very motivated person. I do feel I’d need to make an effort to work from coffee shops on occasion and network for that sense of community. But I can set my own hours, work around my kids, wear my pyjamas as needed.I feel like I’m failing. I am so jealous of people who can do “all the things” without feeling like they need to cry every day from the stress. I have some great friends who are giving a few mixed opinions. Some say I should go for it. Others say it’s a waste of a HECS debt and everything I’ve worked hard for.Has anyone else changed careers as a result of their mental health? I’d love to hear all about it.Thanks in advance.

Rupes79 EMDR Therapy
  • replies: 2

Hi All, Has anyone undergone EMDR therapy and if so can you share your experience? My psychologist has recommended I undertake a course and has said you don’t have to talk about the issues with the therapist. I don’t quite understand what she means i... View more

Hi All, Has anyone undergone EMDR therapy and if so can you share your experience? My psychologist has recommended I undertake a course and has said you don’t have to talk about the issues with the therapist. I don’t quite understand what she means is would be keen to hear some experiences of others. thanks

Mum Chris Moving on but feeling vulnerable
  • replies: 61

Hi, I am getting past my last big attack of ptsd and I’m not backed up into a corner emotionally and figuratively as I was before. I’m expressing myself better and wanting more out of life again. So all positive signs and took a lot of work too. But ... View more

Hi, I am getting past my last big attack of ptsd and I’m not backed up into a corner emotionally and figuratively as I was before. I’m expressing myself better and wanting more out of life again. So all positive signs and took a lot of work too. But I have a really strong feeling of loneliness and detachment from the world and everyone in it. I’m lonely when I go out when I’m home and I feel unwanted ignored and like I don’t belong. I suppose it’s not a new feeling but I don’t feel like I belong anywhere or even worse that no one wants me anywhere. Im a pretender I work and shop and live but I don’t really feel that I’m valued or that people really don’t like me. Is it self centred or self obsession or that I’m still always watching for danger and I’m on guard still. thanks MC

CoffeeSnob Ill-Health Retired and Feeling Pretty Alone
  • replies: 4

So I recently retired from VicPol due to PTSD and now trying to get used to this new life. I'm struggling. Like many before me, I was pushed out by my managers and tried too long to hang on to a job that didn't want me. I gave 25 years, working with ... View more

So I recently retired from VicPol due to PTSD and now trying to get used to this new life. I'm struggling. Like many before me, I was pushed out by my managers and tried too long to hang on to a job that didn't want me. I gave 25 years, working with many different people over the years, some of whom I considered to be my friends. Only one person from work has been in touch since I left, which has been really tough. Would love to hear from anyone else out there in a similar situation.

Flower Earth angel life transitions!
  • replies: 88

i cant cope with the changes in my life ptsd/disabitlies/ emotional dysregulation/ sensory ear disorder depression i cant let go of my cat to be buried i live alone and not ready to invite a random ndis worker in my home to help me to decide waht to ... View more

i cant cope with the changes in my life ptsd/disabitlies/ emotional dysregulation/ sensory ear disorder depression i cant let go of my cat to be buried i live alone and not ready to invite a random ndis worker in my home to help me to decide waht to do any suggestions goodnight

Goal2content Trouble feeling happy
  • replies: 10

Hi, I’ve been having trouble feeling happy. I seem to go through very short hopeful periods and then fall in a depressive slump. My trauma started nearly 8 years ago when my son was born premature. I then lost a baby boy at 17 weeks gestation, my fir... View more

Hi, I’ve been having trouble feeling happy. I seem to go through very short hopeful periods and then fall in a depressive slump. My trauma started nearly 8 years ago when my son was born premature. I then lost a baby boy at 17 weeks gestation, my first son had 3 neurosurgeries for his brain cyst and shunt inserted at 19 months. My Mil got cancer during this time (who I WAS close to). After my 3rd earthside child was born I felt content. Although my first son was showing some autistic symptoms with seriously long and frequent meltdowns. Then my Mil became controlling and manipulative asking me if I was having se& with her son, that I needed to sell all my investments and put it onto her son’s mortgage, that my son was definitely not autistic, just a spoilt brat! The list goes on for 18months she hounded when no one was around, except the kids. She told my oldest who was 4-5 years old nasty things about me and he became an anxious mess, which why I found out. She told me to make a decision to leave her son or not. She even said nasty things to my Mum about my parenting. Well, my partner didn’t believe his perfect Mum would say these things so I had no one to back me up. I felt suicidal, worthless, no confidence to even get my son assessed for Autism because my mil made me feel like I was paranoid. I called Respect hotline and they told me to be careful because she will escalate. Anyway, I left my partner over 2 years ago. My son was diagnosed with Autism in 2020. I’ve never doubted leaving but I’m so sick of everything being a struggle. My Autistic son won’t go to school more than 2-3 days a week. I’ve tried everything with support from the school as well. I guess I just feel like I’m always treading water and never getting anywhere and it’s tough sitting back watching friends get pools in and get their house extensions done when I’ll probably never be able to afford to do my extension. Feeling so numb and hopeless and really can’t pull myself up anymore. I know this is probably pathetic but I feel like it’s always me missing out while things just flow for my friends. And I’m 43 so I’ve had a bit of life experience to know that this is often happens to me even when I had the right mindset and took opportunities. Thanks if you got this far!

TimTams Fear of returning to state where bad memories/people still remain
  • replies: 8

Is it normal to fear returning to an entire state (Queensland) due to bad events having happened in that state/location? I know it is probably not logical when factoring the population of a whole state. But just being near the places brings back real... View more

Is it normal to fear returning to an entire state (Queensland) due to bad events having happened in that state/location? I know it is probably not logical when factoring the population of a whole state. But just being near the places brings back really bad memories. I am also worrying that it does increase the chances that I will run into the person who harmed me in the past in Qld. I have to go back to the state because I have immediate family there. But I do not feel like it is a safe location anymore. Never returning to Queensland again does not seem like an option for me anymore, otherwise, I would never see some of my own family again. But I feel very sick at knowing bad people live there and I will be in the same location as them. Am I being irrational? Is it wrong to be worried/concerned?

Ashii Fresh trauma from family member’s death
  • replies: 2

content warning for mentions of suicide I’ve posted before about something else. I’ve never known anything but trauma. I think I probably experience it in the womb. The past ten years I’ve been doing my best to recover and I have to a certain degree.... View more

content warning for mentions of suicide I’ve posted before about something else. I’ve never known anything but trauma. I think I probably experience it in the womb. The past ten years I’ve been doing my best to recover and I have to a certain degree. But my family’s early experiences in life have completely destroyed us. I lost a brother in 2014 to suicide and I lost another early this year. It wasn’t an instant death either. He was pronounced brain dead two days after his admission to hospital. We had to make a lot of tough decisions. My sister had attempted a month earlier and was hospitalised for the night. It’s not uncommon for our family to contact 000 about an attempt multiple times a year. I had to take care of my sister by myself during and after what happened with my brother and not a day went by for over a month that there wasn’t a risk of her attempting again. I had to sleep in her bed most nights just to make sure she was safe. From the time the phone call went through about my brother until a couple weeks after the funeral I was in problem solving and survival mode. I was burnt out and I think I may have suffered more trauma. I’ve always had ptsd episodes, but now I feel like I can tolerate even less than I used to. It’s gotten to the point where if I’m driving a car and someone raises their voice I have to fight the urge to do something drastic. I’m constantly exhausted now and my normal ways of coping usually mean having extended periods away from my family, but I can’t do that anymore due to financial pressure and living with family. I see a psychologist, but the number of sessions are limited and I haven’t seen them for a month. I just wanted to get this off my chest.

Eagle Ray Trauma, Health and Anger
  • replies: 39

Today has been hard. Since Friday I’ve had a return of physical symptoms I had recur throughout last year - shortness of breath and feeling very unwell. Today I had to cancel an appointment with my employment agency because I was too unwell when I’d ... View more

Today has been hard. Since Friday I’ve had a return of physical symptoms I had recur throughout last year - shortness of breath and feeling very unwell. Today I had to cancel an appointment with my employment agency because I was too unwell when I’d been looking forward to discussing my ideas for starting my own business on the NEIS program. I have a cholestatic liver disease and the recent symptoms may be related to lung issues that can occur with that and I’ll probably have to go through more medical testing. But I’ve also been reflecting on the impact of trauma on health and the suppression of anger that can occur when subjected to trauma, especially from a young age. I had repeat instances of verbal and physical abuse which were quite extreme and left me with nowhere to go but to lie on my bed in a frozen state, often beyond the point of being able to cry. I had to internalise aggression shown towards me as there were no other options. Recently I experienced similar abuse following the death of a family member when I was at my most vulnerable. I was too weak to do anything to defend myself. The liver disease I have destroys the bile ducts, and I feel like a process of internalised anger over my lifespan is likely responsible for this autoimmune disease. Bile is produced when we are angry, but in my case the anger didn’t get expression and I feel like it’s caused inner destructive processes to my own body. After the last abusive attack I was in a state of extreme hypervigilance 24/7. One night, unable to sleep, I realised I needed to scream. I screamed into a pillow so I hopefully wouldn’t freak out the neighbours, but after several screams my body started to let go and I actually became sleepy and was able to go to sleep. Can anyone else relate to possible links between trauma, repressed anger and health issues? If so, has anything particular helped? I’m the kind of person who never shows anger. People have said they’ve never seen me angry. But I feel like there must be a load of repressed anger in me that needs expression. I’m in a lot of pain at the moment, physically and emotionally. I feel like my body has really had enough. I actually bought a book online the other day by Gabor Mate called When the Body Says No. I’m looking forward to reading it as it sounds very relevant to my situation and might help. Sorry for such a heavy topic. I just wondered if others can relate and have any ideas on dealing with deeply repressed anger linked to trauma?