Hello there, A bit of a background story - when I was 15 or 16 years of
age my family and I befriended a much older man, at our volunteer work.
Over a matter of months and a couple of years him and I grew enormously
close. He was 68 years of age at t...
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Hello there, A bit of a background story - when I was 15 or 16 years of
age my family and I befriended a much older man, at our volunteer work.
Over a matter of months and a couple of years him and I grew enormously
close. He was 68 years of age at the time and we both got along 'so
well' because we were both passionate about 1960s and 1970s music. At
first, it was just a friendship. Although, as time progressed, he
started grooming me. I grew up in quite an emotionally unavailable
household. I am now estranged from my psychologically abusive Mother.
And he built that trust with my parents, as he built a 'friendship' with
all of us. I was starved from affection, protection, love and security..
when I was younger. I felt very ignored at times and I felt like my
feelings/emotions did not matter. So, I began to really enjoy the
attention and affection he gave me. He would call me pet names. He would
say he loved me- I love you. And eventually he created a secret email
address, that his Wife wasn't aware of, so we could privately
communicate with each other. He would pick me up from school and while
no sexual relations did occur.. he and I became quite close, physically
and emotionally. He would constantly tell me how beautiful I was. And I
thought he was charming and I liked the attention and 'love'. Realizing
this now, I am trying to come to terms that THIS MAN was exploiting me
at such a vulnerable and impressionable age. I am getting nightmares
still, at 20 years old now. It's deeply traumatic and upsetting.
Luckily, I am safe now and nothing like this is happening to me anymore.
It is just still affecting me. And I avoid going back to the location of
the volunteer work because it brings back some traumatic memories of
what happened when I was much younger. I wanted and yearned for
protection, love and genuine friendship. ALL HE WANTED TO DO WAS EXPLOIT
ME! Luckily, when I was almost 17 I CUT ALL CONTACT WITH HIM. Blocking
his phone number and email addresses. I started to realize that it
wasn't a healthy connection. And now I am COMPLETELY NO contact with
him, thankfully. I DETEST HIM. I AM SO ANGRY THAT HE WAS GROOMING ME. I
HAVE SO MUCH ETERNALISED FRUSTRATION AND SADNESS. It's too much
sometimes. I am trying to move forward but how can I when I keep getting
dreams about him?
PTSD for Medical and First Responders
