Husband of 17 years lost all feelings for me in 10 days.

[Marks_Mrs]

Hello everyone,

Hoping to hear from anybody who has been through this.

We have been together for 17 years, most of the time very happy.

My husband was diagnosed with complex PTSD, depression & anxiety a year ago.

He was prescribed antidepressants for suicidal thoughts & sees a psychologist.

We love each other deeply but I have noticed big changes in him since we sought help & not positive changes!

He has slowly cut everyone from his life, mother, friends.

But worst was to come, 10 days ago he said he felt nothing..even for me. this happened so suddenly that I

am in a state of shock, hurt & very distraught.

Am I wrong in thinking this is the medication? Can't be a coincidence that a very loving man in 12 months of

taking antidepressants has lost all emotion & love.

I hope someone who has been through this can shed some light on this, we have been to the psychologist & her

answer was to up his meds.

I am heading to the Drs in the morning for help, I am so upset it's affecting my health.

Starting to think he won't come back to me emotionally.

Thank you to anyone who responds to me.

[bindi-QLD]

Hi Marks Mrs,

I'm really sorry that you're going through such an upsetting time, it would be such a terrible shock to hear your husband of 17 years say he no longer felt anything for you . I am glad you will be seeing a doctor for some extra support, its understandable that you would feel devastated.

I can only make some comments from my own experience with complex PTSD and use of meds. When I was (finally) diagnosed, I was given some cautions about using meds for PTSD; what I was told is that although they may help with suicidal thoughts, they can also cause the kind of emotional detachment that allows someone to act out those thoughts.

Because that's the advice I received, if someone close to me with PTSD became severely emotionally detached on meds, to the degree that that they said they feel nothing at all, and is pushing everyone away, I would feel worried and see it as a red flag. Like I said, I'm not a professional but I have felt first hand how severe the emotional detachment can be, and I made a lot of dangerous and risky decisions in that state myself.

Is it possible for you to ask your Husband to seek some urgent advice about his severe emotional detachment specifically? The psychologist he sees may not have had the same opportunity to observe your husbands changes, that you see very clearly. Given his suicidal thoughts, I believe this is worth checking with a mental health professional ASAP.

And don't be afraid to ask for a second opinion. His treatment and its impact on your lives is very important.

I wish you both the best, and hope that you can resolve this in way that is good for your marriage. 17 happy years is a lot to lose, and it may not need to come to that.

X

[Croix]

Dear Marks Mrs

I'm glad Bindi-QLD was able to answer your post because I'm going to say much the same thing, so with two of us having similar experiences you may derive some comfort.

I too have PTSD, anxiety and bouts of depression and have been having treatment and on meds of one sort or another for a very long time. There most definatly have been periods where I have gone adrift from my feelings and self-awareness. I've been at the stage where I did not feel anything for anyone, including myself. I had no idea if I was even capable of love and simply felt completely divorced form life.

I also found that having even people I'd loved around was too much. It took a great deal of patience and practical skill for my wife to continue to support me.

Different people react in different ways to medications. It is most important to monitor meds for unanticipated side effects. I'd strongly suggest you talk with your husband's doctor and report exactly what is happening. I'm not sure a psychologist is always the appropriate person to judge matters, though if experienced I guess their views can have weight. If it was me I'd look to the prescribing doctor to make any judgments involved.

I came out of that detached state and live a pretty satisfactory life. I'd been married in a loving relationship for around 10 years when I went downhill, and was able in time to re-establish that relationship and return the love and support my wife had given me all the way thought.

Your own welfare at this time needs attention too. Being married to someone with PTSD etc is a very hard and emotionally wearing task, and the more support you can have, both medical and personal, the better. Do you have family members or friends you can draw on? My wife had her mum and that made a great difference to her.

I hope this has been some measure of reassurance. Please feel free to talks here as often as you'd like

Croix

[Marks_Mrs]

Hi Bindi-QLD & Croix,

I can't thank you enough for your reply's.

I actually need to let you know that your help has actually snapped my husband of of the

darkness that has consumed him!

Following your wonderful advise I rang the BB helpline & spoke to the most caring person,

who have me some very sound advice & was told to treat it as an emergency, confirming your thoughts on this.

I went to the Drs the following morning & demanded to see someone.

I got him in half hour later where we were told that his meds could be having a reverse reaction!

It's quite upsetting that he saw his psychologist 2 days before this & she said he needs to up the dose WRONG!!

He actually needs to ween off & see how things go.

The BB support person I spoke with said his psychologist has not authority to up his meds only a GP or psychiatrist can do this, so now we are bewildered that this woman gave him this advice, Apparently she won't treat him unless he is medicated to the point of ending our relationship??

Great news is that he lowered his dosage & he has started to come back to me, the relief is wonderful.

My anxiety has lifted & I'm feeling human again...

I just wanted to let you know that your words & thoughts help so many people.

This man means the world to me, so have found a psychiatrist for him.

I no longer want him in the care of that psychologist.

Thank you again from the bottom of my now very happy heart x

[Croix]

Dear Marks Mrs~

I, and I'm sure Bindi-QLD too, are so pleased things have worked out this well. While it may not be the end of the journey it is certainly a very major hiccup dealt with.

I guess one thing to come out of this unhappy episode is that you and your husband are in charge of the treatment and should never be shy about asking for explanations and getting problems sorted.

I really hope things go smoother now. Please don't feel you have to stop talking here because this particular problem has been dealt with

Croix

[Marks_Mrs]

Thank you Croix,

I agree with you that while things are back on track now & we are in charge of his

treatment, I now know that this could happen again.

At the moment he is very open, which is wonderful because we can discuss everything

that he went through (he says it was like a dream) My thoughts are nightmare!

I will always stay with this forum, because there are so many partners out there like

me & maybe one day I could help someone as you have helped me.

Thank you, words are so powerful.