HOW TO STOP OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT AN EX ( TOXIC LOVE SYNDROME)

[Jesse Y]

Hey guys I hope everyone is doing well. So I hate to ask for help and hate the situation I’m in but I can’t keep going on like this. I currently have a beautiful girlfriend who is the best thing that has ever happened to me but I still have daily thoughts about my ex. She ended the relationship with me abruptly and I never got closure. I hate myself and my mind for it but I often find myself comparing the 2 and feel because I still have these thoughts about my ex partner that I can’t love my current partner completely. I have Bipolar Disorder, ADD and manic depression and often find these invasive thoughts debilitating. I can’t seem to find a way to stop having these intrusive thoughts and have been stuck on a hamster wheel for the past 2 years. I love my current partner with all my heart and wish my ex the best but it seems that I almost have an obsession with my ex. I have read about love addiction withdrawal but wouldn’t know the first thing about implementing steps to break this obsessive thought chain. If anyone would be able to help that would be greatly appreciated. I understand it’s a tricky situation but I will do anything I can to keep my current partner as I love her dearly and she is what’s best for me and my future. Thank you guys so much. 

[DarrenM]

Hi Jesse

I have suffered similar in 4 separate long term relationships.

I still try see glimpses of them on the internet now and again, as they were part of my life, and us guys never stop caring.

But I advise as follows;

1. face reality that the ex didn't really love you, and never will

2. remind yourself the extreme grief she caused when she left you

3. comfort yourself that the memory of a lost love will soon fade in time

4. embrace your new love and make or imagine positive plans for the future 

 

Unfortunately there is no medication for a

broken heart, except to love again.  

Cheers Darren