Hi, I was violently sexually assaulted as a 9 yr old by 2 guys. Despite much counselling from a brilliant specialist I had (and still can't 50+ years on) never been unable to forgive my 9 yr old self for a really dumb decision which has had ongoing effects since that day. Logically I know that it wasn't my fault but it was ... I didn't ask for what happened to happen, but I did decide to go a path that I was not supposed to go unless i had friends with me. So yes, it was my fault.
However my question is -- I have told only 1 un-medical person ever (the medicals in the know are either dead or my current GP -- and the un-medical person is dead now also. (Sad, but I am relieved)
I have been married for 45+ years and have never told my husband anything about my experience.
I think that to tell him now would actually destroy our relationship trust-wise because he would be devastated that I am too scared of his reaction to be able to be open and honest with him.
So what is the point?
Interested to know the thoughts of others - particularly those in the same situation. Thanks.
