PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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riddle95 Trauma from childhood resurfacing
  • replies: 3

Hi world. I feel like I'm really struggling lately with old trauma resurfacing. I haven't been able to sleep the past few nights because I just get blasted with memories. I can feel it physically and I've started having random dreams that are variati... View more

Hi world. I feel like I'm really struggling lately with old trauma resurfacing. I haven't been able to sleep the past few nights because I just get blasted with memories. I can feel it physically and I've started having random dreams that are variations of the trauma or just stressful in general. I'm just finding it hard to deal with and I feel like I have no one to talk to.

Echtis My experience with EMDR
  • replies: 5

Hello. The initial session left me feeling like a hollow shell of rudimentary human emotions. I felt safe, but I also felt like no one, as though I was in disassociation. Since then my feelings have felt extraordinarily one note, though I have troubl... View more

Hello. The initial session left me feeling like a hollow shell of rudimentary human emotions. I felt safe, but I also felt like no one, as though I was in disassociation. Since then my feelings have felt extraordinarily one note, though I have trouble telling what I feel at all still. I think the worst part of it was that I felt stripped of any personality, drive or wants since the session, like I have been mentally wiped. In theory this is a good thing, but instead I feel lost and soulless, acting out old habits and hobbies for reasons I do not know why, for I no longer care about them. Has anyone else felt this way from EMDR or any other treatment?

Patricia-1 Miss
  • replies: 3

I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for a very long time. I am struggling to make new friends and I am not sure how to cope with my anxiety and depression. Sometimes it’s hard for me to get through the day I struggle to do anything

I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for a very long time. I am struggling to make new friends and I am not sure how to cope with my anxiety and depression. Sometimes it’s hard for me to get through the day I struggle to do anything

lisa1987 Ocd and thoughts of death
  • replies: 3

dpes anyone have ocd and constant thoughts of death and dying? Keeps going around my head won't stop

dpes anyone have ocd and constant thoughts of death and dying? Keeps going around my head won't stop

Beccy_g Greif
  • replies: 4

I'm trying to deal with the suicide of my son, march 23'

I'm trying to deal with the suicide of my son, march 23'

Patches63 Wanting to isolate
  • replies: 2

TW: content may trigger due to info about emotional abuse/DVFor years I’ve not been comfortable being around lots of people. Family gatherings have me feeling on edge and wanting to go home just after I arrive. I have Adult Separation Anxiety and fea... View more

TW: content may trigger due to info about emotional abuse/DVFor years I’ve not been comfortable being around lots of people. Family gatherings have me feeling on edge and wanting to go home just after I arrive. I have Adult Separation Anxiety and fears of abandonment and struggle in make/keep friends. Due to this I have small group of 6 friends.recently received message from one of these people checking up on me as I hadnt been online for couple of days. After mentioning I was struggling with anxiety and had been keeping to myself I was chastised. Part of me knows she trying to do right thing but it immediately took me back to early teen years where I was emotionally controlled. That night the nightmares started again. Nightmares of times I had blocked out for decades and now wish I could get rid off. From early to mid teens I was child of DV and was emotionally controlled by my dad. Everything I did, everywhere I went only happened if he allowed it to happen. This at times included me not being able to attend days of secondary school. Late home from anywhere or did anything without permission and I was verbally abused.In my nightmares at times my dad is the abuser and other times it is the person who recently sent me the message. I have trouble trusting anyone and this has left me feeling even more worried about trusting anyone. Since getting the message only times I’ve left the house has been for bare essential items. Had made arrangements to spend few hours with different friend today but found I couldn’t pluck up the courage. Phoned and explained I couldn’t make it, again. Know isolating and being on my own ( have pets for company ) isnt good long term for mental health but at the moment just want to everyone to leave me alone Patches

sashamentalhealth dealing with anger
  • replies: 9

Hi everyone, Just thought that i would share what worked for me. I struggled with PTSD for years and felt like i could never overcome it. i felt so angry everyday as i couldnt redirect my anger to my abuser and hold them accountable. i felt confused ... View more

Hi everyone, Just thought that i would share what worked for me. I struggled with PTSD for years and felt like i could never overcome it. i felt so angry everyday as i couldnt redirect my anger to my abuser and hold them accountable. i felt confused with all the anger i had and felt like i didnt have any place to channel it from. as a result, i lashed out over small things to the people i cared about and shut myself entirely from everyone and everything. i saw a therapist weekly but still couldnt control my anger. i didnt want to be consumed with anger and tried to find ways to channel it. i found boxing to be particularly helpful as it was a safe way to demonstrate my anger in a controlled environment. i also become a part of the community which helped me stay connected with people even if i didnt want to. still, i felt like i needed to express my anger to the right target. so, i began writing "letters" to my abuser and dumping all of my anger and hatred towards a paper. i know that there will still be anger as PTSD is very complex and enduring in its nature. however, these things really helped me along the way and have continued to help me today. i hope that this is useful for anyone reading it. i am also sorry that we have to go through this and will always continue to be unfair. i wish the best of luck to everyone and i hope that we can all find peace in ourselves one day.

Eagle Ray C-PTSD and fear of people
  • replies: 103

Warning: possibly trauma activating content. I have made significant improvements in complex trauma symptoms in the past year. One of my biggest fears is that people are going to harm me which is ever-present but had lessened a lot. Then on Monday I ... View more

Warning: possibly trauma activating content. I have made significant improvements in complex trauma symptoms in the past year. One of my biggest fears is that people are going to harm me which is ever-present but had lessened a lot. Then on Monday I got triggered by something that is probably not harmful but activated terror in me. It’s too much to explain the context here. Do others have this extreme fear of people and if so is there something that you’ve found helps you? To me it is experienced as life threatening terror. I can feel my body literally recoil from any contact with humans. Animals are safe to me but not humans. I have experienced a lot of trauma throughout my life. Over the past week I’ve had unrelenting anxiety which yesterday also became depression which I know is a result of the anxiety not resolving. I want to run away from all people and go somewhere remote in nature. I’m also dealing with bouts of cognitive confusion linked to an autoimmune condition I have which isn’t helping. I know self-isolation is not a good or healthy long term strategy. However, I want total isolation from people right now. It is the only way I can feel safe. It can feel like this is the only way I can be safe in life, to avoid people as much as possible, even though there is part of me that loves people and wants connection. But right now connection feels profoundly dangerous. I am back in the centre of my childhood terror. Right now the Bruce Springsteen song Brothers Under the Bridge is speaking to me in which a Vietnam veteran tries to explain his need for isolation to his daughter. I think my grandfather was like this in how he isolated from others following traumatic war experiences. I think I’m trying to work my way out of this inherited intergenerational trauma as well.

Charisma_Lotus Heartbroken and Confused
  • replies: 1

My long term bf of 7yrs lied to me about wanting to get married and have kids. Keep in mind that we had already picked baby names we liked and he also gave me a wedding planner journal. Relationship wise I thought everything was pretty good. The only... View more

My long term bf of 7yrs lied to me about wanting to get married and have kids. Keep in mind that we had already picked baby names we liked and he also gave me a wedding planner journal. Relationship wise I thought everything was pretty good. The only thing we would debate about is when we were going to move in together. I had a miscarriage last December (I didn’t know I was pregnant at the time). I found myself falling into depression hole. Whenever I would tell him how I was feeling he would just brush off my feelings. After a weekend away with his friends, he told me that he “does not know” if he wants to be in a relationship with me anymore. Heartbroken, I decided to break up with him. It’s been 5 mths now and he has reached out and says he wants to talk to me. During the no contact phase he kept calling and sending me texts. I didn’t respond to any of them. I needed space to heal. In the texts he told me he loved me but felt he was growing apart. I’m very hesitant to see him in person as I believe he is not going to tell me anything that I don’t already know. Is he just trying to make himself feel better about the break up? I feel as though I’m just going to get hurt again. The emotional pain is unbearable. Grieving the future I had imagined with him and trying to accept that it is no longer, is really hard for me. Some days are good and some days I’m really bad mentally.Looking back on the relationship I have realised that I was the only one making compromises and it was only when I decided to stand my ground (regarding marriage and children) that my ex had an issue with me.There was a lot of emotional abuse and found myself always getting pushed to my limits before yelling and finding myself in an argument with him (reactive abuse). Are there any tips or advice you guys can give me in order to move on? I feel like nothing I have read is helping…Do you think I should meet up with him? Or should I go with my gut feeling and not meet up? I feel like I’m unable to trust his words after he lied to me for so long…

Madmel72 Engulfing Narc Mother
  • replies: 3

I'm an only child, and my mother has always made sure I was provided for and neglect and what I thought was love was never an issue, but if my attention is off her, or if I have a different opinion, or I don't drop everything and go to her at a momen... View more

I'm an only child, and my mother has always made sure I was provided for and neglect and what I thought was love was never an issue, but if my attention is off her, or if I have a different opinion, or I don't drop everything and go to her at a moments notice, she calls me names and tells me I'm no daughter. She's tried to come between my partner and I and even my son and I. She's also saying that her ex is stalking her because of the traffic noise outside, and saying that helicopters are landing on her roof because the police are checking on her. When she goes too far and does something really cruel, she'll go out and buy me stuff I don't need as an implied apology, but then becomes passive aggressive. She's never actually been diagnosed with npd but I suspect she's the engulfing type as she calls me ten or more times a day and has to be in control, right down to calling me and telling me what to eat or watch on TV. I'm at her place right now at 3.40 in the morning because she demanded I come over. She does this whenever things are going well for me and it's getting worse every year. I'm fifty one years old and I feel like a child. I've gone no contact twice before but have broken it when she's faked a heart attack (the doctors at hospital spent 14 and 12 hours testing her and couldn't find anything. Soon as they told her she was OK she was up and smiling.). Sorry for the ramble but I don't know what to do. I can't put her in a home because she has long periods of lucidity a d besides I'd be riddled with guilt.