Dealing with unresolved childhood trauma

[Guest_31370297]

Hi everyone, I want too start by saying that this is a positive step for me and any input will be appreciated whether negative or positive. There is a lot for me too unload emotionally and I’m not going to too go into all of my trauma right now in depth but it has left me with a lot of acronyms. I have ptsd, adhd and others but the main one is borderline personality disorder. I’ve spent 3 months in a psychiatric ward which were the best three months I loved it. I was surrounded by people in similar situations and I felt safe and understood. It’s been two years since my last stay. I have a family that are incapable of talking about there feelings and I’ve been alone for years . I’ve reached a point where the the only time I’m slightly ok is at work but when I’m home I cry until I go too sleep which I don’t get much of. The thing is I feel much better when I can use what I’ve learnt too help other people in a similar situation but I can’t forgive myself for my faults and apply the things I’ve learnt too my own life. I have no self worth. I’m not even sure what tge point of this message is or what I’m asking for. I’m ready too tap out. I need help, and too do that I’d like too help others.

[ABC01]

Hello,

I identify with a lot of your post. I can advise or have a positive conversation with others on their own problems,but when it comes to myself, can’t hear it or put it into practical use. It can be exhausting to blame myself and criticise myself, when I would tell others not to do the same thing. And I truly believe that others shouldn’t do it.

And it does feel good to support others and be there for them in a moment where they really need it. So you are needed. Because you don’t know what type of day that person has had and if your comments might have changed their day or week for them. I can also understand how it is comfortable to help others in a similar situation to you, because you have learnt experiences. And a lot of people can learn from others learned experiences.

I am glad have reached out on these forums.

Please keep talking,

ABC01

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Guest and wave to ABC01,

A warm welcome to you and such a lovely response from ABC01. Yes, it can be so much easier caring for others than ourselves. I’m diagnosed with complex ptsd which while not the same as borderline personality disorder I think has some crossover in terms of being hard on oneself. It is quite the journey learning to see and value oneself in a positive light. The very fact you have reached out here and you care about helping others shows the goodness in you. I hope you can know you have a supportive community here. That can be quite helpful when it’s hard to talk with family. Just by sharing your experiences you help others going through similar things. There are times I really haven’t been feeling good, then I reached out to someone here and I felt better through helping someone else. I think us humans are wired to connect.

Take good care and we are happy to chat with you,

ER