No reason needed to be depressed.

[Donte]

I’m sitting on a bench in the park and suddenly a big branch fell from a tree nearby. I looked to see if there was a possum or something but couldn’t find anything that could have caused this branch to break. It just happened.

Everyone might experience feelings of sadness, unhappiness, worthlessness, hopelessness and helplessness or sadness, at some time in their life which may be due to a specific event. However, when a depressed mood persists for more than several weeks and interferes with an individual’s ability to enjoy life and/or function properly professional help is recommended as it might be a sign of serious depression.

Depression can alter a person’s thinking, behaviour and function. Just like the branch falling off the tree without any particular cause, depression doesn’t need trauma or horrible circumstances, loss or grief in order to manifest itself. Just like a headache can come up anytime with no particular reason and without meaning that you are responsible or did something wrong.

However it is important to remember that depression is a treatable illness. The person with depression and their family must not feel responsible or see it as a sign of weakness, stigma and/or shame. Talk about depression and seek help and support.

It is an illness that affects many people from all backgrounds, genders, age groups etc. The symptoms can vary in duration and intensity and in severe cases can prove quite disabling with potentially serious consequences unless professional help is sought. Some of the symptoms that can be experienced in varying degrees are sadness, anxiety, panic, anger, withdrawal from family and friends, guilt, shame, feelings of inadequacy, inability to perform simple every day tasks, inability to undertake family, work or social responsibilities.

One of the most common form of low mood linked to social stressors and characterised by many physical health problems is a combination of depression and anxiety.

If you have noticed that you or someone in your family seems pre occupied/worried/concerned or there’s a change in behaviour and/or outlook, it might be a good idea to visit the family doctor to discuss what the feelings and offer to make the appointment for them (if it’s for a loved one), if they seem despondent. Offer to go with them to the appointment as this support might prove very valuable. Maintain contact with the person so they feel supported and know there is someone they can talk to outside a medical professional.

[White_Rose]

Donte, wow that came from the heart. It's all true. We need people to listen to us with compassion and acceptance instead of judgement.

I think people with depression and other MI need to actively engage with the healing process. Perhaps like your amputee who is the only that can exercise to get strong enough to become mobile. And to do that requires assistance from the experts.

It's no help at all when we hear 'get over it', 'it's just a phase', as you said. We need acknowledgement of our illness not facile comments.

Whatever they’re describing is real to them and that’s good enough reason to listen. Absolutely.

Not entirely sure there is no need to find a cause. This happens in physical matters such as me being in a car accident and hurting my leg. The nature of the injury has stirred up previous surgery and it's reasonable to work out what came first and how to manage the situation. But yes, we do hear some rare beauties at times. When we can laugh at them is when we know we are getting better, even if not cured.

Mary

[Sapphire_]

Im so glad I read this post. I am having a hard time lately. My hubby is constantly asking me "why are you depressed now?" "What are you deoressed for now?" "Is it... is it... ??? "

I dont always have an answer. It honestly makes me feel ashamed. Like i dont have anything to be depressed about. Sometimes i dont. Sometimes im just hit with it. Sometimes i just lock myself in my room and cry for the whole day and i dont know why. Why should i even have to explain myself?

Quercus. Some of those points you raised in your first post on this thread, they are all posted on my thread recently.

I feel like that everyday. I tell people im "fine" because they believe i have nothing to be depressed about. Others have it worse than me. I feel ashamed because other people are fighting to live while my depression makes me want to die.

I cant reach out to my family because MI doesnt exist. Not in this family anyway. If it does its all hushed up. Swept under the carpet.

I cant tell my family because their physical illnesses are worse than my MI. Im selfish or attention seeking.

Sorry for interrupting your conversation. Im probably way off base. No doubt wrong again.

Sapphire.

[Donte]

Yes Mary!

We actively need to listen to the person. Not as a 'special needs group', but as a human being. A particular individual like no other on earth with universal needs. Once upon a time being left righted was considered an abnormality, being gay a mental illness etc. Luckily as we learn and scientific and medical progress sheds light over certain issues, the prejudices and stereotypes evaporate and are replaced by evidence-based knowledge.

And yes, maybe exploring the causes could shed more light to help in the recovery process and the necessary interventions needed to support the individual by having a greater awareness of risk factors and patterns. X

[Donte]

Hello Sapphire,

Thank you for reading and responding to this thread. You don't interrupt the conversation. You actually enhance it by participating in it. And you are not wrong or off base. You are aloud to feel exactly what you feel. This is Your reality. And even if no one is able or willing to hear, acknowledge or understand it, is still Your reality and no less real. And no, you don't need to explain it to others.

Sometimes our loved ones are trying to understand. Other times they can't cope with the awkwardness and the silence or change of mood. They expect us to be the way they know as it suits them and it's comfortable for them. They may even be indifferent to our agony and self-absorbed. Whatever the case, it is their responsibility to 'catch up'. I don't think it's fair to expect from us to educate them and make them understand. We are dealing with whatever we deal and that can be overwhelming enough. I wouldn't worry about the rest.

We don't always need or have to have an answer. It's ok to not know. To not be able to explain. We are aloud. No one should make you feel ashamed. No matter how unintentional it may be. You don't need to have this additional burden on top of everything else.

People can be very cruel. It is not their business to judge us and decide if we have legitimate reasons to be depressed or not. It's not always about them so they need to understand this and be quiet. Illness doesn't need a cause. A reason. Yes, others have it worse than us, but also others have it better. So what? That doesn't minimise at all the reality or the pain we experience.

Please don't feel ashamed for your feelings. Own them and respect them and give them the necessary attention because they are telling you something about where you are at and what you need to do.

Family is often the last place to find support as the expectations are placing a heavy weight upon our shoulders. You are aloud to be selfish. You are aloud to seek attention. You are aloud to scream out for help. Just do it to the right people - professionals who will not judge or criticise or talk behind your back and will listen attentively with confidentiality and in a safe environment, and support you to find ways to deal with your situation and develop strategies to build resilience and achieve positive outcomes to enhance your wellbeing and find some peace.

Have you talked to your GP? Have you talked to a Counsellor online or on the phone? It may be a good start. X