I need help. What can I do?

[MatildaG]

Hi, I am from Colombia but have been living in Australia with my boyfriend for a year. I have struggle with depression and anxiety since I was 12. Back in Colombia I used to be on meds and had help from my family, I went to a psychiatrist on and off for many years. But I got tired of taking pills because I always felt numb and distant from everything that was going around. I thought I was getting better.. but I wasn't I just began to cope with that with food. Since I met my partner, 3 years ago, life changed for me. I love him and he makes me very happy but at the same time being with him gives me a lot of anxiety. He is my first long term and serious relationship. When we decided to move to Australia, he's Aussie, I was scared I thought i could change all my bad habits to cope but they just got out of control. So i began also to feel depressed and so disappointed of myself because I thought I could begin a new life here... without all that sadness and fears that always are in my life. Recently everything got worse. I feel absolutely sad and anxious all the same time .. I don't have friends or anyone here that I can ask for help besides my partner, and I don't want to scare my family in Colombia because my depression has been the center of the family for to long now. I need help. I feel I have reached my limit I need to talk i need to tell someone ... what can i do? I have been feeling so down that I don't want to look for job or help or anything. I cant focus in anything i try to sleep all the time and when my partner comes i just try to look happy, recently i cant get out of my head that i tould be a good options to just kill myself... . But today I decided that I really want to get better.. i cannot let my life continue ling without me. what options do i have?

[kanga_brumby]

Welcome to Beyond Blue forums Matilda. You have made one of the best steps you could have made by coming here. In beyond blue most of us have been where you are now so your not alone. We are here to support you. If you need to talk with some one one to one try 1300224636 there you can get some helpful advice also Life line on 131114 or your GP for referrals to physiologists. I really hope things work out for you and goes well.

Kanga

[Hayfa]

Hello MatildaG,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing.
Please don't think you don't have any options because you do and I think it is important for you to know that you are not alone in what you are experiencing, many before you and now have gone and going through what you are experiencing and this is why the forum is an amazing source of support and connection.

I think it would be good for you to talk to your boyfriend about what you are feeling and thinking so that he may support you better. Perhaps allow him to accompany you for a GP visit where you may get your first point of help and support.
It may not be a bad idea to share with your family overseas since they worry about you and perhaps talking to them and listening to some warm voices and encouragement could help.
Have you checked out the beyondblue online resources and information? There is also the main support line on 1300 224636 where you can talk to someone if you need to.

I love how you said 'today I decided that I want to really get get better', this is the first step to seeking support and recovery.
There are many caring people here on the forum that will talk to you and support you.

Hayfa

[PamelaR]

Hello MatildaG

It is good you've found your way to the Beyond Blue (BB) forums. The people who respond to posts are friendly, supportive, caring and respect privacy.

Hayfa has provided you with some very great ideas. There's not much I can add other than ask you some questions if that's okay with you?

Do you have an interests? E.g. crafts (sewing, quilting, collage of photos etc) - Join a local group of your interest.

Are you a sporting person? E.g. playing a sport (e.g. tennis, bowling, basketball, netball) or watching a sport (footy, cricket, basketball etc) - Join a sports club

Do you have intellectual pursuits? E.g. book reading, studying - Join a book reading club, enrol in a course.

Getting involved in a local community group or club MAY help to build a network of friends/friendship. Alternatively you could do this all online through facebook - have a look at your specific areas of interest. E.g. I'm interested in nature and photography. I've found groups on FB that share my interests. That has been very beneficial to my developing networks of friends.

Hope some of this may help you MatildaG

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Donte]

Hello MatildaG,

Welcome to the BeoyndBlue online forums. So good to hear from you sharing your experience. This forum provides peer support from people who are in similar situations and even though not trained to provide advice or recommend solutions to the various complex issues, we do listen and empathetically share our experiences and learn/grow with each other.

You are not alone! Living with depression is not easy. Migrating doesn’t mean that our depression doesn’t migrate along with us. No matter where we go we are still us. No matter how much we may love someone or how much they may love us, our depression is not just going to evaporate. It’s like having one leg; no matter where you go or who you love, you’ll still have one leg.

Being in a new country is tough enough even if one doesn’t have a mental health diagnosis. Communication, lack of support networks, lifestyle changes etc can impact on the way we feel. Having depression is making it even harder.

I remember how depressed I was the first ten years since my arrival and how difficult it was to find myself. In a way I never really recovered but it’s a process. Thirty plus years later I’m still seeing a Counsellor and take antidepressants. That’s not a defeat. That’s a success. I haven’t given up! But neither has my depression!

There’s some great suggestions in here. See what suits and give it a try. There’s no right or wrong. Ultimately, you are the one to choose. Give yourself permission to feel the feelings and communicate your your partner about your reality. Hetcas much support as possible and be proud of who you are and your achievements during each step of the way. And you are aloud to fail. You are aloud to go backwards. It’s totally ok. Each times that happens, get yourself up again and carry on. X