This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[wail]

Your not worthless V and you seem to have more than one super power like extra knowledge.

I don't know where we lost the good will and team spirit that previous generations had, at least you do your bit.

And that counts a lot on the unseen astral plane.

[velvetfaerie]

Can the unseen astral plane give me a back massage? Haha. I'm so sore and tired from hard work this week.

[asdff]

Hello, I love how the media uses our disease to their advantage. I.e. it makes a good story. I could write about other people but my brain doesn’t want to. It just wants some to say okay. It’s okay.

I had dentist visit today. Of course over thinking brain is activated while in the chair. In my mind I was humming incy wincy spider. Ha ha. It’s funny. I was trying to calm myself down and a nursery rhyme came into my head. It distracted me. Job done.

Velvet, got to love female hormones. I used to think this bipolar or unipolar which ever one it is, was PMS. Nope, it’s more than that.

[quirkywords]

Aries , according to google the ex cricketer spoke about his bipolar in 2005and in 2017.
I often feel famous people must find it hard when they have a mental illness they are constantly under pressure to be interviewed and photographed.

Velvet I have decided finally relationships are not my strength.

Re definitions I like when it was called manic depression and wonder why they changed it.

[wail]

I think one day they will change back to the term manic depression- this bipolar name is just a trend.

Yesterday after my first vacc I became elevated for 7 hours, my body was all revved up. Then after tea I started to flop. Someone at home has bought a different coffee and it is nasty. I don't eat at breakfast so my coffee is important.

Telling Asdff's brain that it is okay just keep doing your next task and you will be fine. Cheers

[wail]

Greetings again, my husband has been low all week but for the last three days he has started projecting. So I wave the white flag to tell him about this obvious pattern. Now he can argue but he can fight the facts. He's gone swimming which is a good sign.

I know what it is, we have 4 full length mirrored doors in our bedroom, yucko and after we married I moved in and wanted them covered. It was actually our first marital spat, so I ordered a designer glass film and I covered the mirrors and it looked great for years. Eventually the glass film aged and so I removed it and we have full mirrors again. My husbands' 54yr old reflection is depressing him, it is conflicting with his own self image. I don't like it either but I just think, this reflection is what my mother would have looked like if she had lived and it is kinda comforting. I have ordered new glass film and I put express on the postage. Cheers

[asdff]

Wail swimming or any form of exercise is good for us. Especially us highly strung ones. Here is the important part in my Bipolar journey, I will get ups but it’s in the form of more energy. Not mood. I will have more energy to exercise hard, longer at the gym or out on the bike. Before diagnosis it was out running. I would run for ages. Even when my body was sore. Run Forest run!!!

Wail as for You not Kiki the mirrors. I feel you. We have mirrored robes and I hate them. I don’t get dressed in front of them. I don’t even look at myself when brushing my teeth or washing hands in the bathroom.

[quirkywords]

Wail
As a child I lived in a house with many mirrors.

Now as I get older I avoid mirrors especially full length. I am ok with my body image I just do not need to see a full length image from different angles every day.

[Airies]

Wail, Any exercise is good. I loved running.Like Asdff I’d run for hours. My body doesn’t allow it these days. I look at myself in the mirror, another tick for not liking what I see when brushing my teeth.
I’ve been eating so much crap lately today no breakfast, no lunch and trying really trying to have a small serve for dinner. Day 1.
Our internet keeps dropping out constantly. A week before someone can look at it.

What did we do before the internet …….

[quirkywords]

Aries

we read, we spoke, we played games, we rand friends and we wrote letters before internet.