This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Velvet emotional abuse by anyone to you is just non negotiable. Please dont put up with it. You are strong and deserve

[velvetfaerie]

Yep. Not tolerated. Foot down. No sleep which doesn't help me.
I just think disagreements need to me sorted with healthier ways. Fighting happens. Undermining the direction of the argument, twisting the reality and avoiding accountability is not healthy.
Made my point. He accepted it so far.

This is why we both need counselling. Through traumatic experiences we both have learnt unhealthy coping mechanisms.

[quirkywords]

Velvet ,

I think I have learnt unhealthy coping mechanisms.

[velvetfaerie]

No doubt Quirky. Trauma does that 😞 I reckon ALL of us have endured it in one shape or another and it spurred on the MH concerns we have.

Recognising is half the battle.

I had a pretty good sleep last night. It sure does help.

I wish I had CHOCOLATE. HEHE.

[Airies]

Unhealthy coping mechanisms... yep. Food tick... Guess who was in bed at 6:30. Meds, Prns and I’ve woken up like a zombie. Will walk and then hopefully ride. My routine is up the creek along with all my hard work. Somehow I will work through it. One foot in front of another. Inactivity is not healthy for anyone especially me. Chocolate tick

[quirkywords]

Velvet, Aries asdff and everyone reading,

I want to know how to eat chcolate without feeling guilty and dont say moderation!!

I have got through the last few weeks by wating 4 seasons of Downton abbey in about 12 days!!

Inactivity you are right is not unhealthy, aries but I like to stand and move wile watching TV but partner finds that annoying!!

[velvetfaerie]

I just saw something. I helped on a thing at work a long time ago and was told I was going to get recognition. NOTHING! Other peoples got recognition when they didn't even lift a finger 😞

I am so gutted I am about to ask my boss for a reference. This place sucks.

[asdff]

Velvet, it’s time to go. You deserve so much more. We value you, your workplace should value you too.

Are we fellow BP peeps funny/sensitive to smells too? I was getting a faint whiff of a smell, I didn’t like. It’s not until I took my hair out, so realised it was a conditioner ai used

[asdff]

Sorry that post, posted to earlier. There are certain smells I really love. Like my Mum’s perfume. It’s a very distinct one and if I smell it on someone else in the supermarket/shops I will follow them for a bit. I guess it is a BP thing smell. As I either love them or hate them. Like a man in the shops today his B.O. was rank. Yet, my Husband’s B.O. is fine. I know that one is a pheromone thing. The smell of something rotting in the bin, yuck. The smells of fresh cut grass, I love it. What about you lot?

Quirky, I adore Downton Abbey. I like Mary as she is no nonsense. Also The Dowager/Grannie she is also no nonsense but she gets away with a lot more because of her age and title.

[quirkywords]

Velvet

That is such a let down and disappointing.

Let us know what you decide to do.

Asdff, I have a real thing about smells. I am very sensitive to smell and sounds and life lets face it!!