This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Th9s was the first post on this thread by Kaz. It is something many can relate to. What do you think is your life like an elavator or a roller coaster or a see saw?

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.
Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope
Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.
I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me,.

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

What do you think of this description?

Hope everyone reading is being kind to themselves,.

[asdff]

Hi, sorry I’ve been away from the forum. I’ve been doing some work from home and it’s not good. It’s feeding into my hypermedia and I don’t know how to stop it? Well I do know one way, finish the work. So I’ve been powering through it. There are no boundaries though I keep thinking it will be over once so finished this huge stack.

I did want to quit it but hubby said no. Know I think he would probably be reconsidering me quitting. I was asked by a friend. She thought it would be 4 days worth. It’s more like 4 weeks and permanent. I think I will finish the 4 weeks and say it’s not working for our family. I’ve been getting up early to do it. So I need boundaries and I don’t know how to keep them.

Quirky, I would that road trip way too much.

[quirkywords]

Hello Everyone

asdff thanks for your reply. You sound like you are working too hard.

I know you were thinking about it . I suppose do the pros outweigh the cons.

there is no pressure to reply. I know more people read posts than reply.m

[Airies]

Hi folks, first day of Summer and it’s raining. Not a fan of the rain. I couldn’t do a road trip. Melbourne and return is enough plus we would argue. Wedding was a grand day. Everything ran smoothly and proud as. I was pretty spent. Lead up and aftermath took its toll. I’m tired then hastles at chemist getting scripts. Meat in the sandwich with dr and chemist. Why are some things so hard. Asdff I feel for you .We are people pleasers.echo quirkys sentiments no preassure to reply

[quirkywords]

Hello all

Aries hot today then rain and storm late afternoon.

glad wedding went well. sorry you are exhausted and now having trouble with scripts.

.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

how is everyone .?

is everyone feeling tired.
I feel people think as soon as dates turns 2021 everything will be better but will it be?

[Airies]

Quirky, it hasn’t been a normal year. COVID, bushfires so much hardship for so many people. I know you were affected by the fires in a big way. Aren’t they predicting a wetter Summer so that has to be a positive. My son’s wedding was a highlight what was yours? 2021 is another year I don’t do New Year’s Eve , haven’t for years. I’m tired, I’m excercysing, trying to loose more weight but acutely aware I’m getting older. Almost came off bike again. Maybe maybe time to give the clipless pedals away and move to a flat pedal.

[quirkywords]

Aries

I had a birth and an engagement in the family so that was positive.

I have never done NYE .

I am exhausted and fragile.

[Airies]

Quirky, I will get in early. Thank you for your honesty, advice, being you and so giving and keeping this thread going . Your always there and have an answer, question for everything. That in itself must be tiring. I wish you nothing but the best in 2021. I look forward to continuing the journey

[quirkywords]

Aries and all those reading,

thanks for your kind words, This thread has given me a purpose this year and all the posts by you and others have helped me on our journey .

It is so reassuring to have a place where we can be ourselves and be understood.