This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Hi sadcagedthing and welcome to the thread and this supportive forum.

i submitted some writing recently for a new online magazine and the editor sent me an email saying my work was declined. However she said I was in the long list of over 400 .

have you had experiences with rejections?

If you feel like you are welcome to post here as much as you like.
quirky

[velvetfaerie]

Tim tams? **drool** I like them all. HEHE 😄

asdff : cats are funny critters. I have had a lot to do with cats over my life time. Never a dull moment! 😄 Hope mum is doing ok?

Yeh wind, rain, BLAH.... this weekend sucked. Planned the weekend around the child visiting, and we got screwed about by the child. Likely with her mothers influence. So, when we made plans involving the kid, had to cancel. Then we made plans not involving her as it didn't seem she was visting, then oh ok come pick me up. 😕 Plans cancelled. THEN to add insult to this weeks pile of doo doo, man thing put a new pair of my jeans in the dryer shrinking them. It took me months to find those jeans and I got to wear them twice !

I barely slept. I am over everything. 😞

V.

[Airies]

V, Haha sounds like something I'd do. Cooking your jeans such a bloky thing. Good excuse to buy another pair or two. Hopefully visit with child happens sooner rather then later.

asdff I like big cats, lions, tigers, cheetahs and so on.if I were to get a cat a Siamese would be my choice. Still having issues with neighbourhood cat. Over it, trap was council supposably coming today but not overly hopeful council.not answering phone. Will buy a trap.

i cracked it big time over a desert last night. Long story short wanted extra choice, wife trying to accomodate everyone. Not happy , grabbed my meds plus some more if needed and into bed at 6:30. My son wanted to hug me ... Noo. This morning wife was ok with my outburst but more worried about me. I excercised yesterday. Most of the day good.Deleted FB , a time waster and really why am I freeinding old work colleagues.

Quirky, I'm sure your articles would make interesting reading.Their loss.

im a bit over it. Today's another day Thankfully I live one day at a time . Have a good one

[velvetfaerie]

He is lucky I didn't cook his computers!!!!!!!!!!! I believe he is going to buy me more today. Told him not to bother, because I want to be able to try them on etc. Lets see if he listened!! 😕

Ah the kid is at that age where the parents suck and it is all about school mates. Normal !

Siamese cats are SO AWESOME!!!! I want one or 2... but I will not throw down a few grand on 2 pets. 😕

I want dessert. I am so over everything at the moment. lack of sleep does not help.

[quirkywords]

Vanessa

my parents bred siamese cats when I was little. The female Siamese cat had a bit of a reputation in cat world as being a mm seeks appropriate word : a prolific lover.

[velvetfaerie]

Oriental felines are all......... prolific lovers 😉 Saucy kitties !

Must have been a fun house ..... being full of Siamese kitties !

[quirkywords]

When I was 5 my mum said go and see if Cleo had given birth to her kittens. I reported back no kittens just 4 balls of fur were there!!

Was a big family joke for years!!

[asdff]

Quirky the rejection thing brings up being recjected for a second/third date. The words it's not you it's me spring to mind. Ha ha. In that situation, I would say next. As in there is someone is in line. Quirky as for the mag rejection. Are you going to try another magazine or was it on a particular topic?

Kitties, I want to play with them!

As for Tim Tams, I only buy them for the kids and hubby. So for a special afternoon tea. In my lifetime I did a fundraising for Tim Tams and ate waaaayyyyy too many. Ended up about 10kg heavier. So for me it's a case of once you start, you can't stop. So I don't start.

[quirkywords]

asdff

it was new magazine and the theme was unsung so I sent poem I wrote about the fires, not a great poem but from the heart. I was pleased I was longlisted. I rarely enter competitions or send in submissions. I write to help myself and others. I also write a blog.

I only started buying timtams again this year and I have out on weight I lost at start of year!! Oh well.

[asdff]

Quirky, Congratulations on being shortlisted 🙂 🙂