This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

wow, that is not good.

Do you know why?

I think you mentioned before you were losing a bit but not that much.

Take care, we are here.

Quirky

[Loula]

Medication!!!!! My BF saw it and was like omg your hair is so thin. I run my hands through it and hand fulls are falling out. If I brush it my hair brush is full and the ground around me of hair. There's piles of hair all around my home!!!!

[quirkywords]

Loula,

That is so annoying. My medication makes me bigger and wee more but that is nothing compared to hair falling out. That happened when I was pregnant.

What does your Doctor say?

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

Loula,

I am just checking on how you and your hair are going. ? Did you see your doctor and change your medication?

Did anyone manage a long weekend?

Quirky

[Loula]

Hello everyone. Sorry I’ve been away. My head is going 24/7! My appendix has fully settled down thankfully. I was so scarred I would end up in hospital.

pls excuse my messy reply to everything I’ve read.

I saw my hairdresser about my hair who I trust. She’s seen this many times before and told me everything I’m doing is correct in the way of looking after it. She also checked my scalped and could see all new hair growing slowly coming through everywhere. She’s never seen anyone go bold but couldn’t believe how curly my hair is due to the medication lol. She’s had many clients lose as much as me and boom then it’s all back. So I’m breathing a bit.

I find it all interesting we love music. Do a lot of you like to do a form of art? I’ve read people with bipolar are creative.

Me I’m personally scared of silence. I hate my thoughts. I need noise to even fall asleep. But when I’m sick sick dangerous sick I just sit in silence for hours and my husband knows he needs to watch me 24-7.

I can find it when everything is good and even when I’m having a good weekend away I can get sad and empty. It’s like hello nothing has set it off but the feeling is real. And people that tell me to be happy well can we make a new law we can kick them?

My long weekend was actually great. Beach and beach and beach. It gives me a sense of freedom and makes me want to be a mermaid which is a good feeling lol!

Personal question only answer if your comfortable. Do any of you feel over emotional after sex? I generally feel dirty, rotten and like rubbish and I cry so much even though the love making is romantic and I’ve never been sexually abused. My doctor thinks it’s rather strange behaviour as its the behaviour that normally is affiliated with an abuse victim.

Well I’m hope your all doing good. Sorry for being gone for so long and hello to the new cool cats.

[Loula]

Hello everyone. Sorry I’ve been away. My head is going 24/7! My appendix has fully settled down thankfully. I was so scarred I would end up in hospital.
pls excuse my messy reply to everything I’ve read.
I saw my hairdresser about my hair who I trust. She’s seen this many times before and told me everything I’m doing is correct in the way of looking after it. She also checked my scalped and could see all new hair growing slowly coming through everywhere. She’s never seen anyone go bold but couldn’t believe how curly my hair is due to the medication lol. She’s had many clients lose as much as me and boom then it’s all back. So I’m breathing a bit.
I find it all interesting we love music. Do a lot of you like to do a form of art? I’ve read people with bipolar are creative.
Me I’m personally scared of silence. I hate my thoughts. I need noise to even fall asleep. But when I’m sick sick dangerous sick I just sit in silence for hours and my husband knows he needs to watch me 24-7.
I can find it when everything is good and even when I’m having a good weekend away I can get sad and empty. It’s like hello nothing has set it off but the feeling is real. And people that tell me to be happy well can we make a new law we can kick them?
My long weekend was actually great. Beach and beach and beach. It gives me a sense of freedom and makes me want to be a mermaid which is a good feeling lol!
Personal question only answer if your comfortable. Do any of you feel over emotional after sex? I generally feel dirty, rotten and like rubbish and I cry so much even though the love making is romantic and I’ve never been sexually abused. My doctor thinks it’s rather strange behaviour as its the behaviour that normally is affiliated with an abuse victim.
Well I’m hope your all doing good. Sorry for being gone for so long and hello to the new cool cats.

[quirkywords]

Greetings everyone

Loula

I am glad you enjoyed the beach and now have dreams of being a mermaid.

Your hairdresser sounds such a supportive and encouraging person.

I am more scared of hairdressers than snakes.

I don't like people telling me to smile. I have a serious still face and get annoyed when people say smile things are not that bad.

Quirky

[Bipolaroverit]

Hi all! Im a newie to this site. Ive lived with bipolar for 14yrs. Ive had 2 abusive marriages 5 children multiple sclerosis and chronic arthritis. I now have a partner of 3yrs and he is struggling with my moods. Im always on lookout for danger or threats insults where there is none. He would never hurt me but talks bluntly and sometimes im in a low mood and i percieve what hes said to b bad this results in a fight , misunderstanding. Im so depressed atm im barely function. I may lose the man i love because my brain is soooo mucked up. 😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥

[quirkywords]

Hi everyone and welcome Bipolaroverit,

Bipolar, so glad you found this thread. It may take a little while for others to respond but when they see your pot they will welcome you and reply to you.

You have such a lot on your plate. Each one is hard enough but having all three at once would make anyone depressed. Does your MS affect your moods and your mobility? Are you in pain with your chronic arthritis.?

Sorry for the questions.

I am glad you found this thread.

Quirky

[Loula]

And boom my appendix is hurting again. Seeing the doctor in the morning. So over this!!!!