This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Issi]

Hi Lady

It's good that your doing ok, as I put in my last post it was one of the nurses who pointed out that I was doing too much while being in hospital getting TMS. That's when the little lightbulb went off, and stopped trying to do everything.

On the forum we are on different stages of our cycle, for me it's mostly stable with a few downers, and fewer highs along the way.

As I've previously said, I value the "friendship" this forum gives me.

Issi

[Lady_Stardust]

I'm glad that a nurse pointed that out and you were able to take it to heart. And absolutely, we're all in different places but we're all in this together, and that friendship is really important. :3

Did anyone else see any videos or the livestream of the eclipse in America? It was gorgeous. 😮

[Lady_Stardust]

I just thought that I'd jump on and remind that enrolment for the postal vote is closed after today, so if anyone hasn't updated their details or is not enrolled for some reason, then this is your last chance! 🌈

[Sophie_M]

Hi Lady Stardust, if you have time this would be a good reminder to post in our marriage equality thread:

Statement from beyondblue Board in support of marriage equality

[Lady_Stardust]

Thank you, Sophie_M! :3

Also, I'll put here what I said in the other thread, just in case the other is missed:

* Oh dear, I feel I worded that badly. Just want to clarify that when I said to update details, I meant make sure that your details are up to date, like your address and all that if they've changed before this. I'm sure everyone already knew that but yeah, I don't like my wording!

[Guest_128]

I will get here one day.😱

[velvetfaerie]

You just did Dory! Lol

4am awake.... ARGH....

v.

[quirkywords]

Just saying hello to everyone. I know it isbeen a bit quiet here as people have been busy.

Do you think you ever get to accepting your moods?

After 40 years of living with bipolar diagnosis , I am trying not to get frustrated and angry with my moods but to accept them and them myself.

What do other people think about this?

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

Hey Quirky,

I guess I find the downers hard the accept because, well they suck and I always feel like everything that goes funny is my fault. This is a source of frustration for me.

Sometimes it's hard to control the moods. Ok. Most of the time.

Sometimes it's hard to be accepting of ones self when sometimes, people in your life aren't accepting of you.

v.

[Issi]

Hi Quirky

I find it hard to accept my moods, it's frustrating as you know your Meds haven't changed everything around you is the same, but you feel like crap. Those are the days I try hard to be kind to my self, although it takes a lot of self talk.

With my husband now I tell him what I need, eg bring take away home for dinner, or come sit on the couch with me and talk about anything. He's very good but no mind reader.

Issi