This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

You lucky devil!!!

have fun!!!!

👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

[Issi]

Possum, Velvz and Kaz

Possum, Have a wonderful time, hopefully somewhere warm.

I'll join you to take over the world 🌎. First rule would be tolerance, real tolerance not just words that politicians talk about. You have me thinking how much change we could really do. (No it's not my bipolar thinking) Always good to dream.

Issi

[Saphira]

Hi all,

I've just been recommended to check this thread out. I've spent a couple of hours reading the previous messages and was on the verge of tears of reading some of the little things you guys experience (I can't remember who said it or what exactly they were) but things I do myself!

Been treated for Bipolar type 2 for the last 4 months or so and misdiagnosed with Depression for the 9 or so years before that.

I have a couple of people I know with depression who I could only ever semi relate to as in they didn't experience it to the extent I did.

Still trying to slowly figure out my quirks and why I do them!

Someone mentioned just a few messages ago about manic weight amd depressed weight. I actually said "Oh wow" out loud because that's exactly what I've always done. I would describe myself as someone who can drop and gain weight quickly... but thinking back to when my weight has fluctuated by more that 5kg either side (which is very noticeable for me) it corresonds with my moods. While my highs aren't like the highs of bi polar type one it made me think of a looong upper mood I was in for a year. Best year of my life. Family was concerned about how much weight I had lost (healthy weight, I would go to the gym every day without fail and watched everything I ate) and I would think why are you concerned? I'm the happiest I have EVER been!!!

Anywho! Rant over and lovely to meet you all!!!

Saphira

[velvetfaerie]

Hey Saphira!

I understand the weight variations. Thats me too. I never mentioned it on here. No idea why. I guess it has been situation normal for me forever LOL !
Welcome to this corner of the internet. We are all very cool 😄

Velvz.

[Issi]

Hi Saphira

Welcome, I have been on here since March and it's been great to get on here and vent or just talk about what's going on.

Issi

[Airies]

Hi Possum,

enjoy ! That's a lovelly suprise for you all. Sounds idyllic and there's nothing like a magical,mystery tour. My wife and I are going to try hot spring baths next month. Very therapeutic apparently. Do us both the world of good. Can't wait to hear of your experience and hope you all enjoyed it,

cheers LM

[The_Possum]

Pssst... Just thought I'd pop by and say hello 👋

Welcome Saphira, this is the best thread you'll find on here! Relaxed, down to earth and very open minded, so welcome to the team!

I was diagnosed BP 2 in November 2016 and joined the forums here in April, so fairly new to it all and learning a heap along the way.

Look forward to chatting with you more soon x

[Saphira]

Velvz, your picture "The chains on my mood swing just snapped... RUN" Is fantastic.

I have a question for you all

I have an issue with I guess expressing emotions in a healthy manner. I can recall since I was about 15 (I'm 25 now) having little 'tantrums' that have gotten worse over the years

but basically I want to know if any of you have anger issues?

I'm generally an extremely cool calm and collected person but when I start getting worked up (with no obvious trigger) I get anxious and incredibly frustrated and try to hold it in but sometimes in a split second I will snap, and I'm talking punching holes in walls, throwing whatever I may be holding at the time, slamming cupboards or doors repeatedly and screaming like I'm being murdered... this generally lasts for I guess 30 seconds or so at which point I collapse into a heap and am so mentally drained I can hardly speak. This doesn't happen very often at all luckily but I have absolutely no control over it once it starts. Im seeing my GP this week for a refferal to a psychologist who I will hash all these things out with but am desperate to know if any of you experience anything like this!?

Saphira

[Issi]

Saphira

When I'm down or have high anxiety my anger goes from 0 to 100 in a matter of a minute. Normally I smash plates or glasses, then end up in tears. So now I only buy the cheap stuff from Kmart.

I have tried exercise, but it didn't work.

Issi

[velvetfaerie]

hey saphira!

big yes here!

I've a shocking temper. It can run off without me occasionally too.

I understand totally.

velvz.