This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

aries

I agree with you that asdff is wonderful to attempt jigsaws. I can barely do puzzles meant for nearly 4 year olds!!

[asdff]

Now our borders are open I interstate family want to come over. My father, insert anxiety. He wants to stay with us. Um no thanks. My home is my sanctuary. I need my space. I think a conversation will happen before he comes over.

[Lisa611]

Hi All...I've had to take the week off work. I tested positive for covid. I have no symptoms. My partner has also tested positive. He has flu like symptoms. We haven't got a clue where we got it from. I could have picked it up at school. Or my partner could have picked it up when he went on his golf trip. I started watching the series inventing Anna today on Netflix. We've both had all our shots. I'm not sure if I'm thriving. I think I mainly survive with some feel good moments thrown in. What does somebody thriving look like anyway? I start off doing a jigsaw puzzle all keen and enthusiastic but then I lose interest. Am happy to do it with other people. Hope everyone is ok 🙂

[velvetfaerie]

Overthinking. Oh I'm there.

I think the economy is going to TANK big time.

[quirkywords]

Lisa

i knew a couple whose wife had all the symptoms but was negative whi,e husband had no symptoms but had covid.

my family who had it said the intense exhaustion was worst even weeks later. Hope you are ok.

Velvet do you think house prices will go down soon. .? How are you going?

[velvetfaerie]

It's amazing the variation of presentation with not only covid, but various other maladies.

If interest rates go up then houses will go down I think. Not entirely sure on that one. If the costs of living keeps going it will outstrip incomes. Small businesses which are life's little pleasantries... will fail. They're not a financial priority. Unemployment goes up.

Anyway, I won't continue this thought process here.

I walked the dog today twice. He's suitably tired. Ehhehe. We found someone's stolen mail so we returned it to them.

V

[quirkywords]

When I had my small business I realised how important it was to support local small businesses . I would say to people do you want a world that only has huge department stores or big online stores. Small businesses offer employment and , service and different products.
it would be sad to see few small businesses around.
I also found for me small business helped my mental health.

I am wondered have others ever though of a small business as a means of employment.

[velvetfaerie]

It is important. Thats not what I said. If people have to choose between eating and having their nails done, for example, most would choose eating.

I'm choosing between food and fuel now. I'm surviving on very little food. I have no choice thanks to greed corporate greed and big businesses using many excuses under the sun. I shop at a local food business fyi, for the most part. Fresh fruit and veg. Meat when when I can stretch that far. Rice. Pasta. Milk. The bone bottom basics.

Next year I'm facing possible commutes of 3hrs ONE WAY to work or paying ridiculous fuel prices for 45mins travel. This is going to destroy all I worked for. Thanks greed. Thanks A LOT

[velvetfaerie]

My local grocers are amazing. Lovely families own both stores. Good value for most items. I love them.

I've lost just over a dress size because of food affordability and using public transport a whole lot more.

Follow me for more diet tips ahahhaha

[velvetfaerie]

I should not try this when not awake yet. Haha. Coffee first. ☕

I've been employed by small businesses. Except for 2, they were tops !!!!