This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[The_Possum]

Thanks Tony. I understand the rules and I certainly respect them. I just can't figure out exactly why they are in place.

For example, in my view speaking with others about medications may only potentially raise to my attention some other solutions which may help me which I could then bring to the table at my next psychiatrist meeting.

As these are prescription medications, it's not like I could take matters into my own hands by purchasing random medications and self medicate.

But speaking with others may raise my level of knowledge and I may be able to approach my doctors and say 'I've heard that X may help in my situation as I'm not having much luck with Y, what are your views on med X?'

I can only see collaboration a benefit to the community not a hindrance.

Just my two cents worth though x

[Lady_Stardust]

Hey, everyone!

Just dropping in to see how everyone is going and how things are. I've been away too long again. Things have been okay for me. Better than okay most the time, with my working and being able to save up some dollars and socialise. Now and then I've felt disillusioned with life, but I'm alright.

How are things? :3

[Issi]

Hi Possum

I think it's because while we all have bipolar some may have i or ii and have other things like ptsd or adhd added in so while the combination I'm on may work for my condition it could be a disaster for someone else's. I think it would be different if this was a face to face support group as we would know more about each other and their illness. I think its better to rely on your psychiatrist and maybe ask for a second opinion.

If you have today off, enjoy. it's cold and rainy here.

Issi

[quirkywords]

hi lady_stardust

Good to hear from you.

Thanks for letting us know how you are.

Kaz is having a break from this thread.

Take care

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

Hey Lady,

Nice to hear from you. I am a bit quiet at the moment. I am miss cranky pants, (should I change my name? HEHE). I think I should just for ONCE keep my trap shut. 😄

I wish I had skittles right now.

Velv.

[Airies]

Hi Issi,

you hit the nail on the head 👍On the subject of meds prescribed something new due to the nightmareish dreams I have as a result of my meds. If I decrease I go downhill, I tried and it didn't work. The additional new medicine usually prescribed for another condition has resulted in a few nights of restful sleep and 1 night not so flash. My body is adjusting to the new med, a real low dose, have headaches and feeling nautious but will persevere. Someone like me who hates taking meds now relies on this weird cocktail of prescribed drugs along with theraphy to keep me stable.Meds leave it to the experts that prescribe them. All I know is it's taken a couple of years to get my mix right. I take my prescribed meds and they number quite a few. Hopefully in the long term I will decrease but for me it's still early days.

The weather hasn't been too bad here in Southern Vic. Cloudy but I can get out for a few hours in the garden each day.Best medicine ever. Hope you all had a good weekend and go the Blues, onwards and upwards Yay

cheers Len

[MaverickMcD]

My research is telling me that anxiety is part of our body's mechanism (senses) telling us that we should listen to the message, not ignore it and take medications to blot out the pain.

The constant barrage of different medicines, with various side-effects, will eventually produce even greater symptoms, not less!!

cheers

Barry

[quirkywords]

Just noticed this thread is One year old today.

Happy Birthday to Bipolar life.

Who is making a cake?

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

Did someone say cake?

😄

[Lady_Stardust]

Hey, quirky and velv. Hope you're not so cranky anymore! I certainly get the crankys sometimes.

Today I am tired and depressed. I don't think I'll get out of bed nor eat. I have water with me at least. The thoughts aren't playing nice today. Feeling alone. Oh, I forgot to say: I'm twenty now, as of late May. I got to twenty. I'm glad about that, because there were times when I didn't think I'd age again.

Trying to see positive side of things. Another very positive thing that I keep reminding myself of is that I'm going to be an aunty! I would like to be there for the small one. I hope that they don't turn out like me.