This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Velvet, may have asked before but are you in an union.

I suppose some bosses feel they can treat workers anyway as getting another job is so hard.

[velvetfaerie]

Yep. And my colleagues and I are filling out a feedback thing and if they get enough rom a dept they'll investigate. Given everything ..... long story.... they'll come in and audit us.
Kinda hope it happens.
Like a royal commission.
Places of employment like mine are as corrupt as parliament.

[asdff]

See Velvet, us BP people are very black and white. What they are doing is wrong. It is getting your nerves as we are rule followers. I recently had something get up my goat. I asked a friend and she said she would have acted the same way. However, being BP I couldn't let it go. I had to something about it. Then it played on my mind. The kids and husband were like let it go. I did eventually.

I will tell you the situation now. So you have some context. We live near a roundabout. We have a no standing sign out the front of our house. The neighbours, parked a rented camper van on our lawn. Now, I know the council owns that lawn but we mow it. I wanted till 5.30pm to see if they would move the camper. Nope. I approached the person in the camper. It was not one of the neighbours. Whom I don't know very well. They rent and have only been in there about 6 months. I asked person in the camper will you be moving the camper for the night? No. We are going in the morning. I said about the no standing sign. Also that there is a Caravan Park, 2 mins away. Person said I will just park on the driveway. So they did. I could have rung council security and left it to them. However, I knew neighbours would know I rang security. I let it go. It did irk me, more than a non BP person because husband and I would never do something like that. We paid our way around overseas countries. Following the rules.

[Airies]

Asdff, can relate perfectly. Get a bee in my bonnet how people park close to a corner, still having a rogue cat around and now will invest in a cat trap. They're not cheap. I really get pissed at people who have a mask during covid wearing it under their chin. I'm tempted to say something but I don't. My wife just tells me to leave it. Good on you Asdff for approaching them. These days you just don't know what you're dealing with,. I do get ropable as well. A long time friend returned my call with, " did you ring for a particular reason or just a chat" ..... What the...Maybe I'm overreacting ..

[velvetfaerie]

EHHEHEhehehehheehe yep yep, as I sit here nodding my head.

I have a verge, no parking and all the damn soccer mums park on it to collect their brats from the school, RIGHT> UNDER> THE> SIGN. I phoned the council, they didn't care. I said I worked shifts, they said I should change my shifts! They fed me every BS line in the book. I told them I personally have experience, and learnt through my dads while growing up about bi-laws and so forth. I said "ok. Well it has been reported. If i pull out and get hit because I can't see I will be suing the council."

Same about a lovely tree on my verge - needs trim. No. I have that in writing. I said "cool. If it blows into my house the next storm we get I will be suing the council."

Batter up butter cup!

Regarding my work place...... The rest of the year is getting busier and more staff will be off on extended leave. Something will give. I am glad I won't be around for the boom. And if it goes bad in a huge way, licences will be revoked and jail time/big fines may apply. And the media will love it.

[asdff]

Velvet, Council said you should change your shifts. How bloody rude. You should retort with I would prefer to change my workplace. Ha ha. I hope the ratbags get what is coming to them in your workplace.

Airies, we are tender little muffins aren’t we? Some days, I can do nice. Somedays a b¥tch wants to come out and play. I did hate at school, when people would wind me up to get a reaction. That really did my head in. Stupid mind games. Quite often it was the boys. Now some of them have mental illnesses of their own and seek me out for support. Well, you do realise you used to wind me up at school? That is actually only one that seeks out my support. The others, if you were in WA you would have been guarding. Yes, really nice characters at our school.

[velvetfaerie]

Oh I used to get riled up at school too for their entertainment. I used to cop it at school then go home and cop it. So I started wagging school to get a damn break.

I have many who seek me out for support. Most never give it back. I ignored people today. Had enough. Was way too busy anyway !

3 day weekend now WOOOO.

[quirkywords]

Hello all

velvet enjoy your long weekend

Does anyone sometimes get upset when people say things that aren’t that bad if you are in super sensitive mode everything is too much. .?

I find when I am tired comments that would normally make me laugh upset me. Back to the drawing board.

quirky

[asdff]

Always Quirky. My Mum and I call in Prickly. I am feeling prickly.

Here’s my BP thought of the day. Who else chokes on food? Often I am rushing around, eating. I try to chew enough times but low and behold. My brain wants to do other things. So I choke. Obviously not choke so much that I am dead. Many times I have thought I must chew more but BP brain is wanting to do ten thousand things.

[Airies]

Asdff, used to get bullied in early years of tech. Overprotective mum used to give me hell when I would break my spa tackles every year, very pricey with glass lenses. Yep have choked on food or gulped too much water and then a spluttering fool . Beautiful day to get out and about, only a walk. I'm tired, fatigued but no reason to be. Wife's very happy with new coffee machine. Me too I need my daily fix.

Quirky sons girfriend said she couldn't believe what came out of my mouth at times. I haven't the faintest as to what she's talking about. I tend to dwell on comments and otherwise couldn't give a rats,