This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

My holiday is from bedroom to Lounge room. A special treat is going outside to the garden,

[asdff]

Airies Tassie is lots like Victoria. Well the climate is; cold and wet. I’ve travelled around Tassie, it’s beautiful. I couldn’t live there too cold for me. I am a city girl. Launceston would be my favourite place on the Island. Devonport was cool too. I loved Cradle Mountain but they have snow at the moment. It was cold in Feb when we went.

[quirkywords]

just for fun everyone

I was wondering what state or capital city in australia have you not been

I have been to all states and territories not mainland Tasmania.

What about a place you would like to go- for me Kangaroo island.

[velvetfaerie]

I have not been to Tasmania at all, nor Melbourne or Brisbane. The rest I have. I wanted to go to Melbourne this holiday coming up but NOOOOOOO..... 😕 I have been to every state except Queensland and Tasmania.

I would like to go to the Queensland rain forest areas.

[asdff]

I've not been to the A.CT. I was meant to go but I didn't get to go, probably a bipolar down.

[asdff]

Where would I like to go; Scotland. Even with my hands, face and feet that get freezing cold. I would probably have to sit in the car. I would defintly only visit in Summer. Winter I would be an ice block.

[Airies]

Haven't been to Darwin. Not counting visiting the airport. Asdff I agree it would be freezing down at Tassie. If I were to flip a coin it would be somewhere up warmer. We are not moving. It took 35 years to move 10 ks down the road. All good at the Drs. Nothing on scans and bloods normal. He said psych would be most reluctant to reduce cease meds. Said I'm in the middle re dosage and volume of meds. A discussion to be had with psych but realistically and if I'm truthful it's best to leave things as they are. My family has been through enough. Can't wait for Spring. Cheers

[quirkywords]

I have not to been NZ or Indonesia which people think funny or Fiji.

I was going to Tassie this year then the fires then covid.

Aries it is a hard decision and a personal one but of course we think of our loved ones. I would be scared to go off them now last year I may have considered it; Life changes.

[velvetfaerie]

I would like to be anywhere else but work. I am speaking to the union today. I am pretty sure working staff to illness is illegal. Many staff are are getting stress induced illnesses.

I told the big boss I am done. Do they care? Nope. Didn't even ask details.

we have lost 1/3 of our team in this dept. The work load has not changed. So we are all working our butts off, for the pay cuts of about 15%. WHAT A JOKE THIS IS!!!

So I am now being wilful and selfish. I have. Had. Enough.

[Airies]

Velvet, sounds like you need to look after # 1 - you. Your break can't come around quick enough.Are people quiting or falling ill. Regardless doesn't sound too good at the moment. Hopefully light at the end of the tunnel.

Quirky where would I like to go? Probably revisit Vietnam or Bali. At the moment I'm hard pressed to get off the couch .. No enthusiasm at all.

Asdff im watching Outlander on Netflix ... Assuming lots f scenes filmed in Scotland. I loved seeing cities in Italy and Europe back in 2015 before i fell apart. Hard pressed keeping track of what day it is during covid...

Cheers